As someone who grew up in the South, I came into college determined that sorority life was not for me; I was hardly the bleach-blonde babe who wore bright-colored Free People Movement sets, had frighteningly white teeth, and spoke with a deep Southern accent.Â
Like most Northwestern students, I had high expectations and even higher goals. I was overwhelmed by the delicate equilibrium between getting lost in work and having a social life. Sometimes my determination gave me tunnel vision, and I found myself unintentionally neglecting relationships. But I imagine thatâs how it is for a lot of Northwestern students. After all, itâs the curse of being an overachiever that brought us all here.
Back home in the South, sororities would not have been in the cards for me. I wouldâve been quickly overwhelmed by the expectations, the workload, the image upkeep, and the social calendar required of girls in Greek life. In the South, Greek culture just isnât who I am. But that opposition to sorority life is shortsighted; it forgets that Northwestern isnât a “normal” place, and that the feeling of imbalance between a social life and success is ubiquitous. It forgets that weâre more likely to present critiques of Greek culture during rush than do coordinated, somewhat suggestive dances.Â
It forgets that one of the defining features of being a Northwestern student is having high expectations and even higher goals.Â
These are some of the things I worried about prior to rushing. And now, having found the sorority where I belong and lived in the house for a quarter, here are my honest responses to those concerns.
What if my friends and I get different sororities?
Statistically, you probably will. None of my closest friends ended up in my sorority. But not only have I met more of my future bridesmaids in my sorority, Greek life hasnât stopped my friends and me from being close. If anything, weâre quite literally closerânow they live in the sorority quad with me, and we love to bounce from house to house chatting, studying, and hanging out. We go to each otherâs formals as dates, talk about what foods were served that week in our houses, and complain about different frats. The shared experience of Greek life has only made us closer, even if we live in different houses.
What if I donât get the sorority I want?
You may not. I went into rush with very, very little information. I knew two sophomore girls in one sorority, and I became determined to rush that house. But during rush, I didnât chat with the girls I knew, and I just didnât click with the girls I talked to. I was disappointed when I eventually didnât get called back, but I also felt a twinge of relief. Now, looking back, I am confident that sorority was not the best fit for me.
As cheesy as it sounds, even if you donât get the sorority you want, youâll get the one you need. I knew many women who dropped rush after the sorority they wanted dropped them, and I think it was a wasted opportunity.Â
What if I only get âbadâ sororities?
As much as the lonely frat boys on Fizz love to rank our sororities, letâs be real: this is not âBama, and distinctions between “good” and “bad” sororities make little sense given what Greek life looks like here. Sure, there are fleetingly accurate, somewhat reductionist stereotypes about women in certain sororities. Some sororities like to party more than others. Some care more about their philanthropies than others. Each sorority is unique, and thereâs no questioning the qualities and women that make them that way. But for those of us in Greek life, we donât waste a lot of time thinking about it. The people who care the most about “rankings” are usually people not involved in sororities at all.Â
Rankings shift, girls change their minds, and things happen. Sisterhood stays the same. There will be many girls on bid night who are devastated that they got their second-choice sorority. But if you ask them about it a year later, theyâll have either dropped Greek life altogether or realized they ended up where they belongedâand are as happy as can be.Â
What if I get too nervous and freeze up? Will I get dropped?
Chances are, weâre nervous tooâjust as you want to make a good impression, weâre equally as determined to stand out. As redundant as it sounds, try your best to relax and be yourself. And if youâre in a conversation where that feels impossible, maybe that house just isnât right for you. That said, try not to jump to conclusions about a house based on one bad conversation.
You likely wonât be dropped for being shy or nervous. Even though each sorority has a distinct process for deciding who to call back, itâs our job to connect with you. And it can be easy to forget that just a year ago, most of us were in your shoes: we remember the stress, the nervousness, the overwhelming nature of rush. At the same time, it’s nerve-racking that it’s our first time on the other side of rush.
Greek life at Northwestern is unlike that at any other school. Itâs hard to enter a sports practice, professional club, or any other activity on campus without there being a girl in Greek life there. Sorority life isnât the end-all-be-all for girls here; itâs a network of support, care, and sisterhood. It keeps us from tunnel vision and reminds us that weâre not alone.
If you have any questions, stories, or advice, fill out this form to be featured in the next “Rush Hour!”