Next Monday will be a historical season of The Bachelorette with Rachel Lindsay being the first Black lead and her group of 31 men the most diverse since the franchise began. Chris Harrison says this is the most successful contestants ever but we aren’t so sure. Hopefully they are more interesting than the previous season of The Bachelorette so it will actually be the most dramatic season ever. Let’s look at some of the men’s profiles and make predictions ahead of their limo entrances next week.
Alex—The Dark Horse
Ignoring for a moment that Alex listed The Rock as his favorite “artist” and said he couldn’t name three musicians, the rest of his answers seem pretty normal which is a huge plus compared to some guy’s responses. We expect him to slowly become a front runner and possibly make it to hometown dates.
Dean—The Letdown
Honestly, Dean is already on shaky ground with his “black, never go back” comment when Rachel first met him on the After The Final Rose. But he does stress that laughter and comfort help make a date better so he is redeeming himself a little. We predict he will have a heartfelt edit that makes him seem really good in the beginning, but then he will ruin it later on in the season. He refers to marriage as a “sham” in his responses so he is bound to start irritating people.
DeMario—Mr. Over the Top
Two of DeMario’s responses have four exclamation points at the end which is unnecessary in any circumstance. Some other highlights include him calling himself perfect, using the word goals, saying he desires the attention Britney and Justin received from their denim outfits, and using a Happy Days character as his perfect match. There is just way too much going on with this guy.
Jack Stone—Mr. Perfect
Aside from needing to have himself labeled as Jack Stone on ABC’s website, there is nothing to dislike about his answers. He answered the best attributes questions with proper descriptions which has proven to be hard for contestants in this franchise. He also admires his mother, loves Catch 22 and dogs and plead the fifth for the sexual question when others clearly wanted to show off. He seems perfect, a little too perfect. So unfortunately Jack Stone will likely make it far but not to the end.
Jamey—The Villain
Where to begin? Let’s examine just some of Jamey’s ridiculous answers. He wants to be less fortunate for one day just so he can appreciate his life more. Jamey tries not to make any plans in life. Instead of using character traits to describe his ideal match he responded “model.” Finally, the last and worst reply: He does not have female friends. If James makes it past week 2, he will definitely spend all of his camera time rubbing America the wrong way.
Jonathan—The Comic Relief
Tickle Monster. Yes, that is Jonathan’s occupation. Aside from that being creepy, the fact that he thought it was okay to list that as his job is weirder. He also put Flo Rida as his favorite music artist. He described losing his virginity (to his ex-wife by the way) as uneventful. We expect Jonathan to basically be ignored on every group date but provide commentary to remind us that he is still around and just how strange he is.
Lucas—Mr. Awkward
Lucas beats Jonathan when it comes to terrible occupations. Under occupation he just wrote Whaboom. No this is not like Liz’s job last year as a doula that caused many people to look up what that is. Whaboom is simply not a thing. Chris Harrison described it as a “way of life” when introducing Lucas. Moving on…for his ideal mate he listed Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and Jessica Rabbit which just makes us really uncomfortable. He also said his least favorite thing to do on a date is going to a funeral so hopefully he never plans a date for Rachel. He isn’t likely to last that long.
Milton- Mr. There for the Wrong Reasons
Milton was begging for this title by saying that he hopes to be discovered after participating on this show because everyone tells him he is “made for” television and movies. Milton will be trying to get as much camera time as possible and might even shed a few fake tears. He then tries to backtrack and say that isn’t necessarily why he came on the show. But he later says romance can make a man look weak. Rachel needs to send Milton home as soon as possible.
Peter—The One to Watch
Peter is a tall business owner with salt and pepper hair and an adorable gap between his front teeth. His answers seemed the most thoughtful and genuine but most importantly he loves Modern Family. He also really admires his brother for being a great husband and father. This one is a keeper!
Will—The Best Friend
Like Peter, Will gave some really good answers. He wants to treat his date like a princess and likes experiencing new cultures. But Will also said he won’t be someone’s second choice which is basically the premise for this show unless you are picked first at every rose ceremony and at the end. We don’t think Will is going to handle this experience very well and Rachel might end up seeing him as just a friend. He will survive at least until week 5.