In honor of Alpha Chi’s amazing Healthy Relationships Week this week on campus, meet this week’s campus celeb, Molly Clark, who gives HC a little insight on what Healthy Relationships Week is all about!
Name: Molly Clark
Age: 21
Hometown: Shaker Heights, OH
Major: Social Policy
Position in AXO: Public Relations Committe
What is the goal of Alpha Chi’s Healthy Relationships Week?
The goal of Healthy Relationships Week is to educate our campus and community about how to foster and promote healthy relationships- with family, friends, significant others, even strangers- and to recognize and celebrate the healthy relationships that we all already have in our lives.
What events will there be throughout the week?
One of our biggest events is our “Send Some Love” campaign, through which members of the NU community can send free Hershey’s “kisses” and a note to friends on campus in dorms or Greek housing- those are going to be delivered on Thursday and Friday. Monday through Wednesday, we were tabling at Norris for our “Love is…” photo campaign. People could write what love is to them on a white board and take a photo, and whoever gets the most likes on our Facebook page receives a $25 gift card to the Evanston restaurant of their choice! On Tuesday evening, we held a self-defense workshop at the Alpha Chi house, open to all women in the Northwestern community. While we learned several physical self-defense techniques, a majority of the program centered around conflict resolution, self-confidence, and healing for those who have been victims of violence. Finally, on Thursday at 6pm in Tech LR6, Alpha Chi is teaming up with Rainbow Alliance to host a student panel on “The Spectrum of Dating” to discuss relationships and dating experiences outside of monogamous heterosexual conventions.
What do you personally believe are healthy relationships? Unhealthy relationships?
Personally, I think healthy relationships are relationships that make you feel like a better version of yourself; they’re based on trust, respect, and communication. They are accepting of all the experiences, beliefs, and habits that have made you who you are- however good, bad or ugly they may be. Both individuals should be willing to listen and feel comfortable sharing. Perhaps even more importantly, I think healthy relationships are those in which people prioritize each other’s happiness, confidence, and sense of worth. Everyone deserves to feel important, and I think we all have an obligation to make our loved ones feel valued and appreciated.
Unhealthy relationships, then, would be those in which people try to break each other down and make others feel as though they are not good enough. An unhealthy relationship would make you feel you need to hide aspects of yourself change parts of yourself. This type of relationship prevents you from growing and moving forward as an individual. More overtly, unhealthy relationships often involve manipulation, control, intimidation, and even physical abuse- however not all unhealthy relationships are physically violent.
What is your advice for getting out of unhealthy relationships?
I think this depends a lot on the nature of the relationship. If you recognize that you are in an unhealthy relationship- perhaps the most essential first step- it can be helpful to find a trusted friend or confidant to listen and help you come up with a way to end the relationship. The most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault. There is nothing you did to make your partner the way they are or act in the way they did, and there is nothing you can- or should have to- do to change them. Moving forward, there are a number of resources on campus available to students, or friends of students, who are in an unhealthy relationship and in need of help. Essentially, what matters the most is that you do whatever it takes for you to feel safe, comfortable, and healthy.
Why is this week important to you?
This week is important to me for a number of reasons. Early on in my freshman year at Northwestern, I was involved in a relationship that took me a long time to realize was harmful. I was still trying to understand what I had experienced when I joined Alpha Chi and found myself in the middle of my first HRW. Now, two years later, I am able to look back and see how far I have come, and to truly and passionately celebrate all the successful and healthy relationships I’ve found and held onto since that time in my life. As both a sister of Alpha Chi and a member of NU Sexual Health and Assault Peer Educators, educating others about healthy relationships, healthy sexuality, and self-care is a significant and meaningful part of my life. This week gives me a chance to help others, and to continue my own education about healthy relationships.
Make sure to keep up with Healthy Relationships Week by following Alpha Chi’s facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/axogamma/!