Fifty Shades of Ugh

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about Valentine’s Day and suggested seeing Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Yeah, no. I take it back. I take it all back. 

Fifty Shades of Grey is fine when not taken too seriously. Take it as a chick flick, a Twilight knock-off (did you know that Fifty Shades of Grey started as a fanfiction of Twilight?), whatever – just don’t expect a great romance. The ending is not satisfying at all, and for me, left my stomach in knots. 

Here are a few more of my reactions throughout the movie:

When Anastasia meets Christian:

Why is Anastasia so awkward? Also please be professional! You are on assignment! Get it together, girl! 

When Christian is really forward with Anastasia after he saves her at the bar:

Doesn’t he realize that Anastasia is really inexperienced? That she has no idea what he’s implying!?!?!? Let’s all get on the same page here. 

The first makeout scene between Anastasia and Christian in the elevator:

The sexiest moment in the film wasn’t even in the bedroom. In a movie that is predominantly about a couple’s complicated sexual relationship, this is a huge red flag. 

When Christian starts giving Anastasia all these gifts:

Anastasia doesn’t even realize just how creepy Christian is. Didn’t she get it when he randomly showed up at her mom’s house in Georgia…? Okay, Christian, okay.

Christian Grey in general:

Yes, Christian is sexy but he’s also objectively creepy. Why doesn’t Anastasia see this? He’s trying to convert this innocent girl into something that she’s not. 

Overall, I think Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele did a good job. Jamie Dornan is a pretty face, but I didn’t always believe him as Christian Grey. With a film composed of mostly close-ups, he could have let some emotion show at times through that stoic face. It would have alluded to more of what’s to come in the sequels. Speaking of which…

The sequels: 

Here’s to hoping for some better writing, cinematography, and acting. And definitely a better cliffhanger that doesn’t leave the audience wondering if the movie is really over yet or not. 

Gifs courtesy of giphy.com and reactiongifs.com. Fifty Shades photo from ibtimes.com.

• 50 shades of grey
• Anastasia Steele
• Christian Grey
• dakota johnson
• Jamie Dornan