Welcome to the Bro Blog! A reader asked the men this week “How do I know if he’s just extremely flirty (and good at it), or is he really looking for something?” And they have the answer! Check out their answers!
Check them all out and enjoy:)
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J.P. Bowgen
Ben Shartar
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If there is one thing that girls need to know, it’s that some guys have a naturally flirty personality. They may not be looking for something serious, they’re just being themselves. I know this has gotten me in trouble. Where I’m from, it isn’t unusual to invite a girl to lunch to casually talk. So when I got to campus, I quickly found myself in a predicament. Was I supposed to change myself to suit my environment? No. I understand that overly friendly can be seen as flirty and it’s difficult to differentiate the two, but there are ways to see if he wants more.
Keep an eye out for the “proactive texter.” If he texts you first on a regular basis, chances are he wants to see you more. Just do me a favor, don’t be the girl who refuses to initiate conversation. No one likes that and you don’t impress anyone. If you’re interested in the guy at all, play a little give and take. Don’t make him do all the work because you’ll lose him in no time.
Take a look at how he is in social situations. Being “handsy” is a good sign. It means he is trying to get closer to you. Pay attention to his eyes. If he looks around too much, chances are he isn’t actually into you. Eye contact is a big determinant of how he is feeling toward you. But when he isn’t talking to you, see which girls he is talking to. Does he act the same way with them as he does with you? If yes, chances are that he is just a good flirt. If you know other girls he is friendly to, ask them about him. In this case, consistency isn’t a good thing. You don’t want to hear that he acts the same way with them as he does with you.
Guys give themselves away more often than they think. Reading us is a lot easier than you can imagine. Once you learn our tendencies, we’re easy to crack.
Ben’s got something to say… keep going!!!
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Ooooh, good question Anonymous Reader! It can be tough to figure out just what that smile means or what his posture means about how he feels towards you. In fact, there are an abundance of books and articles written all about this subject by people who are REALLY smart. But I am not one of those guys. Instead I will just give my rambling thoughts and experiences on the subject of that fine line between extremely flirty and “Wanna get out of here?”
So guys flirt. Obvious, I know but it is the premise of everything I am about to say. I flirt with pretty much everyone. I have kind of fallen back upon a friendly and somewhat flirtatious tone with all girls I meet and am close with, and I even faux flirt with some guys I know as a joke, but guess what? I definitely am not tryna start something with everyone I flirt with, that would just be absurd and I assume notorious for my reputation. However, some people might be asking themselves what is flirting? Flirting is a silly mating ritual developed between humans in today’s society in which a guy/girl must impress the other individual in such a way to create a spark of interest, and every guy has a different technique or method. Look on the internet or YouTube if you do not know what flirting looks- I cannot help you there.
So you have a guy flirting with you and you are getting flustered because you like him, but you want to know if he likes you the same way you like him. While you might think the act of flirting itself should imply an attraction, you are assuming we are acting rationally. We are not. Our hormones start acting up, our brain stops working, and we just act silly. Go to the Keg and watch people flirt with each other, it is hilarious. Flirting does not always equal a guy wanting to be more than friends, so it requires either a bit of finesse or just a lack of any shame or inhibitions to figure out the truth.
Do you want to know the sure-fire way if he likes you? If he makes a move. I know, I just blew your mind with that piece of brilliance. But chances are if a guy likes you, he will make a move because that is what we have been raised to believe. Guys can still be nervous creatures, so give a guy some encouragement. Below our muscley and handsome exterior lies a soft and sensetive interior. Guys can also be afraid of rejection. If you think a guy is flirting with you, flirt back a bit and see what happens. Sometimes a guy is just waiting for some sign that it is okay to make the first move, and I promise it will seem right in the moment if it all starts to fall into place. However, word of advice: The worst thing I have experienced is girls who feign disinterest as a way of playing “hard to get.” That is just the dumbest thing. It is like walking into McDonalds, standing in line and then saying I am not hungry and walking away. The server will not want to serve you more, he/she will just move on to another customer who knows what to order. While some guys might like that little game, I don’t play that way and I just end up leaving her alone and not making a move. It is a stupid technique and we go to Northwestern. We are intelligent young leaders of the future so let’s act like we kind of know what we are doing.
If nothing I have said here works there is always the new age thing about just making the first move yourself. Or if that is too much for you, then you can always gently force his hand (that is an idiom and not a sexual innuendo). I will not give you the details about how to do this because the best is for you to do whatever you feel comfortable with. I will tell you this much, I have had girls make the first move with me and it worked, so don’t be scared of failure, because failing without trying is way worse than failing by virtue of going for what you want.
Oh and please please please do not read into things too much. Sometimes if he smiles at you it might just be a smile and not a secret sign that he wants to marry you and grow old together, that s*!&’s just crazy.