In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we sat down with Sue Ward. Sue works for the American Cancer Society as a Chicago Area Special Events Manager. Sue has also been diagnosed with breast cancer twice before the age of 45. Sue opens up about having cancer as a single woman in her 20s, and her emotional journey after being diagnosed again later in life. She shares valuable advice about female health that every young woman should hear.
Young women are often told that their late twenties are the time of their life. With people getting married later and later, many women are free from family responsibilities well into their 20s. You can go out with your girlfriends without being on a college student’s budget. You can reach career success and afford to go on real dates in fancy restaurants. This is a time when you feel like you have it figured out. And at 29, Sue Ward’s life seemed like it falling perfectly into place.
“I was very heavy into my professional career,” Sue recalls. “I was working in the casino business at the time and I was living a really fun life. Wining and dining high end clients, traveling a lot and just kind of enjoying that career success everyone dreams of. I was working out twice a day; I was dating. Life was good. Everything seemed like it was right where it needed to be. “
The last thing on Sue’s mind was her health, not to mention the thought of a life-threatening illness. But on an October morning in 2000, that all changed. It was the morning of her alma mater’s homecoming football game, and Sue had planned to tailgate with her college girlfriends. She had a fun weekend planned and was very much looking forward to it. But when Sue rolled over in bed that morning, she felt a distinct pain in her right breast. She lied in bed and felt her breast, wondering if the pain would subside. That’s when Sue discovered a lump. Right when she felt it, she knew something was not right. Sue called her parents and asked them to come over. Sue asked them both to examine her.
“You know you’re in trouble when you ask your dad to see if there’s a breast lump,” Sue half-joked. “I asked him to look at it, and he thought he felt something.”
She called her OBGYN to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. They told her they could see her in a month or two.
“I told them, ‘Well, I feel a lump.’ And they said, ‘You’re 29, you’re fine,” Sue remembered.
Sue called her mother in tears. She knew she felt a lump, and she needed someone to take her seriously. Luckily, Sue’s mother worked in a local hospital’s cafeteria at the time, so she marched upstairs to get Sue in to see someone that afternoon. The nurse practitioner agreed with Sue’s suspicions, and that’s when the whirlwind really began. On October 4th, they performed a biopsy. The doctor came back after the procedure, and asked to see Sue inside the room. The doctor also asked Sue’s parents to join her. The doctor told them it was cancer. At the age of 29, Sue was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. The cancer had already spread to her lymph nodes.
“We started sobbing,” said Sue. “I just kept looking at my dad and thinking, ‘Dad fix this. You’ve fixed everything in my life. Just fix this.’ But there was nothing we could do to fix it.”
She immediately asked if she was going to lose her hair. The doctor responded, “I don’t know”. She then asked if she was going to die. The doctor again responded with uncertainty.
Sue was immediately sent off for additional X-rays and had surgery the following Monday to remove the cancer. After surgery came chemo, a grueling process to destroy remaining cancer cells. After chemo came radiation, and so continued a seemingly endless process that is infamous for breaking spirits. But Sue was determined to maintain her fun and fulfilled life. She continued to work at her demanding job, and she wore a wig all throughout chemo. She plastered on a smile hoping coworkers and clients wouldn’t notice just how sick she was.
“I wanted so much for everything to be normal, and I pushed so hard for it to be normal, “she admitted. “But it wasn’t. My body was fighting me. I wanted to go out and drink with my friends. I wanted to eat nice dinners and not throw them up after. I rescheduled my chemo so I could be with my work friends on St. Patrick’s Day, but I couldn’t even enjoy it. I was sick as dog.”
Sue’s treatment ended the following June, and she wore her wig for the last time on her 30th birthday. Her doctor’s have never said the word remission, but agreed that for the time being, the cancer was gone. Sue left her career in the casino business and began working with the American Cancer Society in 2004. She earned less money, but decided that the work she was doing for ACS was well worth the pay cut.
And although Sue’s cancer was gone, the fear never really left. She is a self-proclaimed sufferer of “scanxiety”, her name for the nerves that always accompanied her annual scans. Sue always knew there was a chance of her cancer coming back, but she didn’t let that stop her from living her life. She continued to devote her time to ACS, and helping others fighting their own battles with cancer.
Right before her 41st birthday, Sue felt a sudden change in her health. At first she chalked it up to spending too much time at the gym, but she could not shake the feeling that something was wrong. She made an appointment with her OBGYN and prepared herself for the worst. At the age of 40, Sue was again diagnosed with breast cancer. Her doctors told her that her cancer looked inflammatory- an extremely dangerous form of the disease.
“My world came crashing in at that point,” she recalls. “I realized that this thing really could kill me.”
However, Sue wasn’t going down without a fight. She knew what doctors to call and what steps to take. After a week of further testing, her medical team discovered that the cancer was not, in fact, inflammatory. Sue was relieved, but the fact that Sue’s cancer was mimicking the inflammatory symptoms meant it was going to be a tough opponent.
“The first time I was diagnosed, I let the cancer be in control,” Sue admitted. “But I was in control the second time around. I was more educated and I had strong partnerships with my doctors. I wasn’t going to let this beat me.”
Sue was determined to stay in control. She didn’t let things like losing her hair demoralize her. Instead of watching it slowly fall out, she held a head-shaving party. Surrounded by her best girlfriends, Sue sipped champagne, ate dessert, and embraced going completely bald. Even scheduled a fabulous portrait session, where she confidently posed for photos without her wig.
Sue has now under-gone nine surgeries and her doctors estimate she has two more to still tackle. The doctors say she is cancer free, but Sue still has some serious obstacles in her path. She had both her breasts removed in a bilateral mastectomy, and is now dealing with complications during the reconstruction process. Due to radiation she received 12 years ago, her body continues to reject the implants.
This Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Sue’s advice for women is simple. Get educated about breast cancer now, and be active when it comes to your own well-being.
“As a woman, be your own advocate for your own health,” Sue advised. “You know your body and you know when something’s wrong. Don’t be afraid to call your doctor. Talk about your family’s history of cancer. I had no idea the amount of breast cancer on father’s side until we actually sat down and talked about it.”
Looking into you family history and genetic testing for the BRCA gene are things that should be done sooner than later. Sue admits that breast cancer in your 20s is extremely unlikely; she wants young women to know it’s possible.
“I had a friend who was diagnosed at 24,” said Sue. “It’s better to educate yourself before you get sick. Know your family history and know your body.”
Sue’s other piece of advice? Lean on your support systems. Sue admits that she tried to fight her first battle alone, but the second time around she leaned on her father, mother, and sister. Sue’s other major support system was her tight-knit group of girlfriends from college. They brought cherry-cake donuts to chemo and held Sue’s hand as her long, brown hair fell to the floor. They also started an ACS Relay for Life team to raise money in the fight against cancer.
“College is a time when you can build lifelong friendships. Choose those friends wisely. They will the ones that will drop everything when you need them, celebrate the good times, make you laugh when all you want to do is cry, and bring champagne for head shaving parties.”
Sue now faces the decision of whether or not to remove her ovaries. She is a carrier of the BRCA2 gene, which significantly increases her chances of ovarian cancer. While removing her ovaries would remove that fear, it would also mean never being able to have children. But Sue will tackle that extremely difficult decision when she’s good and ready. Now Sue is taking things oneday at a time, but truly believes this experience has made her who she is.
“Cancer is the best and worst thing that ever happened to me,” Sue said with a small smile. “I’m exactly not sure I needed to have it twice to appreciate it, but I think I’m more patient. I like to think I’m more caring and giving. It’s made me a better and stronger person. And it taught that I have the best family and friends in the entire world.”