Parkes room was adorned with strings upon strings of twinkly lights creating a fuzzy, warm glow as scents of incense filled the room. Upon entrance, a spread of delicious Jamaican food adorn the tables as fest goers mingled about. Conversations filled the air as the mood began to take hold of what would be one of my favorite events I have ever attended in my Northwestern experience. On the night of Saturday October 21st the first Black Queer Utopia was held in Parkes hall. Black Queer Utopia aimed to provide a sensory experience through smell, taste, sights, touch and sounds through performance by and for Black Queer voices. There were many performances from Cruel Valentine and Northwestern Students as well as amazing speakers such as Chef Fresh, Nic Watkins and Marius Blake Dania. Each performer took the theme of Black Queer Utopia and used the space to share their own vision of what it may look like. In between these performances there were these 25 minute dance parties were the audience members were encouraged to express themselves through movement. Never in my twenty years of existence have I felt so accepted and loved before.
The MCs of the night, Treyvon Thomas(They/Them) and Jayleen James (They/Them), posed the question to the audience, “What does a Black Queer Utopia look like? How can this space be imagined?”. This question reverberated out into the space, and lodged itself deep in my heart.
My first year at Northwestern I probably could never answer that question because I was not even aware of my own identities. Coming into my first year, I did not even really knew who I was let alone how I identified. I attended an all girls school where 75% of the students identified as either Latinx or African-American. In addition, many of the students were also low-income and first generation. Being at this school I never felt different or uncomfortable because my identities were always represented in relation to race, gender, sexuality, and class. Since coming to Northwestern, I did a lot of identity work to figure out who I was and how I relate myself to the world. Northwestern is a majority white, male, and heteronormative space, and I was the complete opposite: Mixed, a woman and Bisexual. These identities came at a point of transition freshman year where I finally learned about my identities and learn about how they intersect. They have become a huge part of who I am to this day. Black Queer Utopia reminded me of who I was freshman year- a young girl transitioning into her identities and finally feeling comfortable enough to be herself. The event reminded me that I am valued and that I deserve to take up as much space as I see fit. Black Queer Utopia provided space for individuals of all backgrounds, but finally brought to light Black Queer voices; these voices that have been silenced for so long. So the question still stands how does a Black Queer Utopia look like? I proposed it is the space where I, among others, can unapologetically be themselves and express themselves in whatever manner they see fit. This expression can be through art, dance, song to as expressive as self-care. As I am now I can accept my identities and can proudly say that I am Mixed, I am Bisexual, I am a Woman and I am finally comfortable with myself.
Photo pulled from Just Be Muse