I may not be the biggest fan of the “Fifty Shades” franchise — the books or the movies — but if there’s one thing that will get me to shell out $11 on a weekday night, it’s the soundtrack of a “Fifty Shades” movie. I am passionate about the fact that it is the only good thing to come out of the movies, always providing the world with a year’s worth of amazing songs fans will be playing endlessly. With a Grammy-nominated music supervisor coming back for round two of this series, I knew this album would be absolutely breathtaking. And it is, but some songs are better than others, and I have made my definitive rankings, starting at 19, of every song that appears on the soundtrack.
19. “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” – Josè James
This is a short, not super memorable jazz number, and it’s really not bad. It just feels super out of place next to all the other songs on this soundtrack. It seems like a song for a sweet old couple, not two twenty-somethings into BDSM.
18. “On His Knees” – Danny Elfman
A beautiful instrumental track – it only finds itself low on the list because you can’t exactly belt out the melody; it can’t bring the big bang factor of many of the other songs on the soundtrack. It’s no less beautiful, however.
17. “What Would it Take” – Anderson East
The vocals are great on this song, but it, like many of the songs near the bottom of the list, feels a little awkward in context. But Anderson East’s raspy voice brings a cool mature tone to the soundtrack, and it’s still a great song.
16. “Making It Real” – Danny Elfman
An entirely instrumental track, this was likely just written to make the serious scenes feel like they have actual depth. But it’s still a good song; I just can’t take it that seriously after seeing the movie.
15. “Empty Pack of Cigarettes” – Joseph Angel
The chorus of this song kind of has a Black Keys feel to me, while the entirety of the song is very R&B. The lyrics are great, I’m a real fan of “I ain’t got nothing else to give you but the truth.” It’s excellent in all aspects, just not one of the most memorable songs on the soundtrack. It’s stiff competition here.
14. “One Woman Man” – John Legend
John Legend’s voice is, as usual, absolutely stunning, but this song is missing something that the rest of the album has. I wanted to love it so much, but it doesn’t have the same “magic” most Fifty Shades soundtrack songs have. No hate John, because you’re still amazing.
13. “What is Love?” – Frances
While the lyrics come off a little simplistic, the pacing is beautiful and so are the vocals. It’s very haunting and Alessia Cara-esqe. Definitely worth listening to.
12. “Birthday”- JP Cooper
Very similar to “Code Blue,” this is another great R&B track on the album with somewhat sweet lyrics. “If today was my birthday, I’d be blowing out candles and wishing for someone like you,” the last lyric on the song, is just a little melancholy for the soundtrack overall.
11. “I Need A Good One” (feat. Mark Asari) – The Avener
This song is somewhat nostalgic of circa 2007 “jams” with it’s easy to remember lyrics and simple-yet-enticing beat. Easy to imagine at a middle school dance, and I don’t mean that in a bad way.
10. “Cruise” (feat. Andrew Jackson) – Kygo
This song has a hint of a Euro Pop sound; I can imagine it easily as a club anthem. This is a great dance song, mainly focusing on the beats and the bass – it’s just fun.
9. “No Running From Me” – Touloose
This song is a lot of fun, with a perfect, playful — almost taunting — pace. The music itself is wonderful, and the whole song just makes you want to snap along. A great song for the soundtrack because it almost bridges the gaps between all the genres on the album and makes them seem much less disjointed and more cohesive. The metaphorical glue of this soundtrack.
8. “Pray” (feat.) Rooty – JRY
This song fits seamlessly into the soundtrack, with the amped up “sexy factor” which is so amazingly juxtaposed to the title, which adds a lot of the appeal. The singer is praying to a lover basically for a second chance, but it isnt at all a ballad. This is a classic “Fifty Shades” track, and definitely worth putting high on this list.
7. “The Scientist” – Corinne Bailey Rae
In the movie this song plays during one of Anastasia’s “contemplative moments” and I’m sure it’s on the soundtrack to amplify the “drama” factor in Christian and Ana’s relationship, but out of context it’s really just a beautiful ballad worth noticing (plus a really good cover of Coldplay’s original version).
6. “Helium” – Sia
Sia’s beautiful voice and the chorus of this song are super strong. The piano is beautiful, and the lyrics are very true to the theme of the movie: “Your love lifts me up like helium.” The only thing setting this song a little lower is it’s perhaps not as accessible in terms of the lighthearted nature of the overall album and vibe of the movie.
5. “Code Blue” – The-Dream
With the slow pace of an R&B track and the sexy bass beats characteristic of a “Fifty Shades” album, The-Dream’s high pitched crooning on this song is slick and beautiful. The music supervisor of this album picks out this as one of her favorites.
4. “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” – ZAYN & Taylor Swift
This was supposed to be the “Love Me Like You Do” of the sequel soundtrack and it is a great song, but like “Love Me like You Do,” it isn’t actually the best song on the soundtrack (@Beyonce’s edited “Crazy in Love”). Zayn’s voice is just as beautiful and sexy as it was on “Pillowtalk,” and Taylor Swift’s voice, though considerably weaker, still brings something to the track. This is an amazing song, especially when the bass picks up, but it isn’t the best. #controversial.
3. “Bom Bidi Bom” – Nick Jonas & Nicki Minaj
Nick and Nicki are a dream team. It’s almost surprising this song wasn’t the headliner single off the album. Nick’s “bom bidi bom” in the chorus is sexy, and it’s perfectly placed in the movie. Nicki rounds out the end of the track, and there’s truly nothing wrong with this song. I could listen to it on repeat forever and still love it.
2. “Not Afraid Anymore” – Halsey
I truly struggled as to the postioning of this song – I almost wanted to give this the number one spot, because not only is it sexy, it’s a super strong power anthem. Halsey brings it to this song and Dana Sano, the music supervisor for the soundtrack, was not wrong when she called it a “standout sleeper track”. Don’t sleep on this one fans, it’s absolutely stunning.
1. Lies in the Dark – Tove Lo
This was undeniably the hardest decision of this entire ranking, but I stand by it absolutely. I perhaps have a Tove Lo bias, because every song brings out so many different feelings – sex, pain, love, sacrifice, infatuation, lies. It’s perfect for this tumultous relationship in the movie and just any normal relationship in “real life.” The chorus is sexy and I don’t want to say “syrupy,” but I guess I’ve said it now. It’s a great dance track and an all around great representative of the soundtrack as a whole. I’m in love, and you’ll catch me playing this one “over, over, over and again” (I know that was a bad pun but, I had to).