I’ve been in college for three years and have worked one or two “real world” jobs, so naturally I think I have a pretty good grasp on adulthood. Here are some realizations that I’ve had since starting college:
1. No one actually knows what they are doing
The smart kid in class that is starting a tech company with her friend? No idea what she’s doing. The basketball player that everyone thinks is going to go to the NBA? Winging it. Your boss that’s 40 and has a well established career? Absolutely clueless. There is no set path. Even if someone has a plan for their life, rarely does it ever work out that way. Life is going to take you a bunch of places; we can stop pretending like we know where we are going and just enjoy the ride.
2. Chad doesn’t matter as much as you think…
The frat boy you spent hours getting ready for is too busy trying to see how many cheese balls he can fit in his mouth. Don’t waste your time. I’m not saying all people in fraternities are like this, but we all know some guy that just is a little slower on the emotional maturity track. It’ll take him time to get there; in the meantime you should study for that exam that’s 30 percent of your grade.
3. It’s not cool to not care
When we were younger, like in high school, not caring was so cool. The uniform was to wear a t-shirt that said, “The only I hate more than Mondays are people,” and not participate in class. That’s so boring. People in college gravitate towards passionate people. That’s literally why most colleges have a billion clubs for niche interests. Being passionate about your interests and just life in general will make you more meaningful friends in the long run than hating everyone.
4. No one is looking at you
Ok, this sounds harsh. People are looking at you, but no one is analyzing you the way you are analyzing yourself. No one is looking at you so go to the dining hall in your pajamas. No one is looking at you so don’t avoid talking to people when you have a huge pimple on your face. No one is looking at you, so who cares you fell down the stairs in the middle of campus. Dust of your knees and laugh at yourself, everyone’s going to forget in five seconds anyway. Life is so much easier once you realize that no one cares to remember your embarrassing moments. And if they do? Well they must be bored and sad.
5. Take a break
Check in with yourself. Are you working to hard? Are you slacking? Why? How can you fix it? Maybe call your mom or best friend. Make some lists, go for a walk. All the typical mental health jargon. But also maybe go on Twitter and see other college kids suffering too. And watch some “try not to cry challenge” videos and cry a lot. And then wipe your tears and get back to work.
6. Remember to have fun
I once got a note from someone at a summer job I had, and he wrote “don’t forget to have fun with everything you do.” That doesn’t sound completely realistic when you’re studying for a test or writing a paper, but make sure what you are doing makes you happy in your heart. If you are excited about your future, that’s the best happiness anyone can ask for. But also in the short-term, make sure to do dumb stuff while you’re young. College is a perfect mix of adulthood and childhood, but it’s easy to fall into one or the other more. Try to have some balance between the two.