On January 18th, while standing in line at Taco Bell (the last stop of our night out), I watched my roommate’s jaw drop as she opened her TikTok app. We both stared at the notification plastered across the center of her screen: “Sorry, TikTok isn’t available right now.” I looked around the room at everyone else waiting for their late-night Crunchwrap Supremes and was slightly taken aback by the devastation on their faces as they peered down at their phones in disbelief.
Then came the texts from my mother and my friends: “I can’t open my TikTok,” “I’m gonna throw up” and “this is terrible!” As upset and shocked as everyone around me appeared to be, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for my previous decision to remove most social media from my life.
I’ve never had a TikTok account, and I deleted the Instagram app from my phone during a dramatic breakup with my ex-boyfriend in 2021. Occasionally, I’ll scroll for a minute on my iPad before remembering why I stopped doing so in the first place. The only social media platform I use is Twitter, and that’s been sufficient to keep me up to date with the latest memes and jokes.
Over the past four years, I’ve been relentlessly questioned about my refusal to download TikTok or make an Instagram comeback. People have accused me of doing so because it makes me feel like I’m better than everyone else, and in a way, that’s true. It’s not that I have a superiority complex, but rather that mentally and emotionally, I do feel better and healthier. As someone who has lived the past four years without using two of the most popular social media platforms, here are the top three lessons I’ve learned and how my life has improved.
- Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Yes, it’s true, and I didn’t realize how extensively I was comparing myself to others until I removed Instagram from my phone. Even after just the first week without the app, I began to notice improvements in my self-confidence. Not only was I feeling better about my body, but also about my personal achievements and where I am in my life.
It’s easy to forget that social media is relatively new in the grand scheme of time. Going offline allowed me to realize how abnormal it is that we have constant, instantaneous access to the lives of everyone we know, as well as those we don’t. Scrolling through my Instagram feed and watching friends and strangers document their lives (usually only the best parts, though) implicitly made me feel bad about myself in a multitude of ways, leading me to believe that I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough, motivated enough or well-traveled enough. The list could go on.
Removing that source of comparison gave me the opportunity, for the first time since I got a phone at age nine, to truly focus on myself and celebrate my own accomplishments. While no one can ever completely escape comparison in their life, reducing my social media use significantly decreased how often I compare myself to others. The primary person I compare myself to these days is me, which is far more productive for my personal growth.
- Increased Independent Thought
Just as I find it unusual that we can view the lives of millions of people through a tiny screen, it is equally as abnormal to have everyone’s opinions and “hot takes” shoved in your face 24/7.
The vast amount of content on social media can be incredibly overwhelming, and it’s hard enough to digest news events and pop culture scandals without thousands of people giving their input on the topic. Whenever something happens in the world, whether it’s a politician being exposed for corruption or a new installment in the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni lawsuit, social media erupts into a worldwide debate stage where users passionately, and oftentimes angrily, share their perspectives and berate those who disagree.
As someone who wasn’t actively posting my own ideas, I found myself turning to the content of others and the comments section to decide where I stood on the issue. Being constantly bombarded by everyone’s thoughts clouded my judgment, preventing me from forming my own opinions. Once Instagram became a no-go in my life, I realized that outside of the two popular viewpoints that dominate online discussions on any given topic, a third perspective also exists: my own.
Social media discouraged me from producing any original critical thoughts while simultaneously pushing me to pick one of two sides of an issue. Without social media, I can seek information about what’s happening in the world and form my own opinion without being swayed by the most popular takes flooding everyone’s timelines. Being offline has expanded my freedom of thought, strengthened my relationship with myself and helped me identify what’s truly important to me, independent of outside influence.
- Stronger Sense of Self
Social media, especially Instagram and TikTok, has served as the vehicle for new clothing and music trends, popular hobbies, activities and aesthetics to emerge. When I used Instagram, it was fun to keep up with what was trending, and I would try to incorporate whatever song or style was popular into my own life.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, and I do think that social media is great for offering an expansive array of styles to draw inspiration from. I did notice, though, that once I did away with Instagram, I became more in tune with my own likes and dislikes.
When I see the latest clothing crazes or hype about a new album, I sit back and ask myself how I truly feel about it. This has been a positive shift away from the subconscious pressure or inclination to enjoy something just because everyone else seems to be loving it. This freedom from instinctive conformity has led me to explore past hobbies that I’d given up, such as sewing and crafting, and has also allowed me to establish my own sense of style.
Without the urge to fit into one particular form of consumption, I’ve learned a lot about myself in terms of what I like to do, wear, watch and listen to. Being unaware of what’s trending on social media has strengthened my sense of self and prompted me to connect with the interests that make me the happiest.
Social media is probably forever ingrained into our daily lives and is valued by many of us. Though apps like TikTok and Instagram have plenty of benefits, I’ve found that life has the potential to be even better without them. Though the TikTok ban was lifted after less than 24 hours, I’m hopeful that people will realize that living without these platforms is totally possible. It may even help them prioritize themselves and slip out of the hive-mind mentality that social media has trapped us in.