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Northeastern | Life > Experiences

Loving Yourself the Way You Love Others: A Love Language Approach

Sophie Lai Student Contributor, Northeastern University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Northeastern chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

We often think of love languages in the context of relationships — how we give and receive love from partners, friends and family. But what if we apply that same concept to our relationship with ourselves?

Whether you seek comfort in words, touch, time, acts of service or thoughtful gifts, your love language isn’t just about how you connect with people; it’s a guide to how you can care for yourself.

Not sure what your love language is? Discover yours here by taking a short quiz and learn how to turn your love language into the ultimate self-care tool!

1. Physical Touch: Ground Yourself in Comfort

If you thrive on physical affection such as hugs, cuddles and hand-holding, you can channel that energy inward by prioritizing physical self-care.

Ways to love yourself:

  • Stretch or do yoga to strengthen your connection with your body
  • Take a long, hot shower or bath
  • Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket and embrace the warmth
  • Use a heating pad or weighted blanket for relaxation
  • Play with your hair or give yourself a scalp massage
  • Try a skincare routine or a face mask — physical touch meets pampering!

Touch isn’t just about others; it’s about how you physically care for yourself.

2. Quality Time: Enjoy Your Own Company

If quality time is your love language, you value undivided attention. Why not give yourself that same level of presence?

Ways to love yourself:

  • Spend intentional alone time — no distractions, no social media
  • Journal your thoughts and reflect on your day
  • Meditate or practice mindfulness
  • Explore a new hobby you’ve been wanting to try
  • Take a solo walk and enjoy nature
  • Curl up with a good book

Loving yourself means valuing your own time as much as you value that of others.

3. Words of Affirmation: Speak Kindly to Yourself

If hearing kind words lifts your spirits, be your own biggest cheerleader.

Ways to love yourself:

  • Start a gratitude journal and list things you appreciate about yourself
  • Say affirmations in the mirror 
  • Practice mantras that bring you peace
  • Write yourself love notes

Your inner voice is powerful — make sure it’s saying something positive.

4. Receiving Gifts: Treat Yourself (Without Guilt!)

If gifts make you feel special, extend that same generosity to yourself.

Ways to love yourself:

  • Buy yourself flowers, just because
  • Treat yourself to your favorite takeout
  • Invest in something that makes your life easier (a planner, a new skincare product, etc.)
  • Start a DIY project and create something for yourself
  • Buy something from your wish list, no special occasion necessary

You don’t need a partner to surprise you with something special — be your own gift-giver.

5. Acts of Service: Show Up for Yourself

If you feel loved when others do things for you, devote that same energy to yourself by setting up a life that supports you.

Ways to love yourself:

  • Set goals that align with your future dreams
  • Plan out your week ahead of time to reduce stress
  • Declutter your space — your mind will thank you
  • Organize your schedule to create balance
  • Make yourself a home-cooked meal with love and intention

Being kind to yourself means making your life easier, not harder.

The Love You Seek is Already Within You

The love language you crave from others is often the love you need to give yourself. The more you nourish your own needs, the more confident, whole and fulfilled you’ll feel — no external validation necessary.

So, what’s your love language, and how will you start showing up for yourself today? 

Sophie Lai

Northeastern '26

Sophie is a junior at Northeastern University, majoring in Business Administration with a concentration in Brand Management and Marketing. A proud Brooklyn native, she’s a Pisces and ENFJ who thrives on creativity, connection, and storytelling.

When she’s not studying, Sophie enjoys perfecting her matcha latte, experimenting with recipes, designing intricate nail art, and shopping for home decor. She’s always inspired by springtime, farmers' markets, and cozy cafes where ideas come to life.

Through Her Campus, Sophie is excited to share her voice, connect with others, and celebrate the little joys that make every day extraordinary.