Change is something that can be scary, uncomfortable, and intimidating. If you’re like me, you have a bittersweet love-hate relationship with the concept. Sometimes I expect too much based on films or books that I spend my time enjoying. When I want to see a change in my life, I have unfortunately adapted to waiting for it to come to knock on my door, instead of being the one to knock. The truth is, if you really want something so bad, then why aren’t you showing interest and making that first move?
I feel like a lot of us take the easy route, and wait for things to happen as we see in the movies. Sometimes this approach may work, but for the most part, it probably won’t. It’s the scenes in rom-com shows we find on Netflix or Hulu of a girl casually bumping into another person, locking into deep eye contact, and suddenly falling in love that creates these fake assumptions. Setting unrealistic expectations that things will just happen, makes us unconsciously try less and make us less motivated to step out of our comfort zones.
The reason why we resort to waiting, for the most part, stems from our fears.
Fear, for me at least, is a big reason why I wait instead of taking action. Whether it’s fear of being rejected, fear of being vulnerable, or fear of losing something or someone, it shouldn’t be used to hold us back. Instead, the adrenaline it releases in us should urge us to take the steps that may alter our lives in unexpectedly wonderful ways. The rush of excitement it engages in us that makes you run situations over and over in your mind from different perspectives; the feeling that makes your cheeks hot and flustered or your hands clammy should motivate you. If you sit in fear, you will never know what could have been or the experiences you would have endured. Fear is scary, it keeps you in your room, it convinces you to hold yourself back, but I won’t let it do that to me anymore and I hope you won’t either.
As someone who writes a lot, I spend time analyzing places, people, and interactions. And because of this, you would think I would understand that to see change, you need to take the physical steps to make it. Writers and editors sit around a table, thinking all day about clever ways people will interact with one another and what they will say, but there’s no crew of people sitting in a room analyzing all of your personal conversations. You are in charge of what happens, and that also means you’re responsible for the outcomes of your actions (or the actions you never took).
So my challenge for you this week is this: if there’s something you want to change in your life, academically, emotionally, or romantically, then show an interest in making it happen. Try and start something instead of waiting for it to come to you. Communication is so poor in today’s society. With miscommunication and unclear messages being sent and interpreted in so many diverse ways through a plethora of social media platforms, things can become misread in an instant.
It’s a hard and challenging idea to grasp because now we need to hold ourselves accountable for the actions we take and the ones we don’t. And it will feel so much better when we can become liable for risks we took that led to new and exciting experiences that have changed our lives in better ways.
Be vulnerable, be a little afraid, take a few risks, make the best of what you have and the most out of what you want.
I’m done waiting, what about you?