With winter break officially ending, it is, unfortunately, time to say many goodbyes and resume our long-distance relationships that had been paused while home. As someone with friends and a boyfriend at different colleges, the final hangouts are always bittersweet. There’s no denying that the thought of these moments of physical closeness shifting back to being farther apart fills me with a profound sense of longing. While I know the distance won’t weaken the strong bonds I share with these important people, there’s one relationship I’ve found myself struggling to accept the distance with the most: my mom.
I’m very lucky to have the relationship that I do with my mom. To say she is my favorite person is an understatement; I share every aspect of my life with her, and my friends always respond with things like, “Wow, I can’t believe you told your mom that!” I trust her judgment with every ounce of my being, and she always knows exactly what to say. It would be a lie if I said that there haven’t been times that I’ve told my friends I was “too busy” to hang out because I wanted to spend time with my mom.
There have always been little aspects of my life that she has become a part of: Morning karaoke on our car rides to school, hanging out in her office with my friends, TJ Maxx runs, and sitting on the couch at night watching our favorite shows. When I went to college, it became clear how deeply intertwined she was in my daily life. Even though she was still geographically close, she’d never felt so far away.
Without her around, everything felt so unfamiliar. I didn’t know how to manage life apart from her: Who do I hang out with on the couch every morning now? Who do I eat dinner with? Who do I gossip with? It felt as if coming to college meant losing a small part of myself – something that had been so tightly knit into my personality for as long as I can remember.
This year, more than last, I tried to find ways to incorporate moments with her into my day. I finally started to find ways to fill the hole of space left behind when I moved to college.
I call her when I walk to class in the morning or to the T for work. When I have downtime between classes and clubs, I call her. When I’m making dinner and don’t know whether my chicken is cooked, I call her.
I have found ways to keep my mom a part of my daily routine, even if it means Facetiming for only two free minutes. It’s clear to me that no matter where I am, she will be there with me. She will always be a part of my daily routine.
Even though she may still feel far away, these small moments have kept her close. There is no denying that I still go out of my way to find opportunities to see her, whether for her to come into the city to shop, go to dinner with me or even buy me groceries if I think she’s feeling extra nice. Moments like these make these little interactions feel more special, reminding me how lucky I am to have such an incredible, extraordinary mom.