For those of you with local relationships, the distance is simple. It’s easier to map out when you will call or text each other and less complicated to plan a date with one another.
For some of you though, the distance is brutal. A piece of your heart feels broken off every time your person leaves, and the space in between the next time you see them feels endless. You are stuck with emotions that leave you feeling empty some days.
Regardless of the situation, the distance is inevitable and eventually you must come to accept it.
I want to first acknowledge how it’s important to realize that whatever sad emotions you are feeling are likely due to the fact that you deeply miss your significant other.
Yet, on the other side of the coin, how beautiful is it that your body and brain are creating symptoms due to your connection with one special individual?
As a college girl experiencing a long-distance relationship, I’ve had days where I miss my significant other greatly. The things I would do to just hop on a flight to see him, quickly grab lunch with him, or take a walk together. But overall, my experience with the distance has been extremely positive. So for those of you who are in need of some strategies or tips to navigate long distances in an easier fashion, here are some I’d like to share:
FIND CERTAIN TIMES TO CALL/TALK: The night prior to college move-in, my boyfriend and I discussed how we wanted to move forward with our relationship. We discussed times we thought facetiming would work best for us, whether it be every night for five or ten minutes, two times a week for an hour or so, or every Sunday at a fixed time. (These are all suggestions; communicate with your partner to find what works best around your academic, club and social schedules!)
SETTING BOUNDARIES: Another thing that I believe should be discussed is irritations, like hearing important news about one of us from someone else. For example, let’s say I won an award; I told my roommate about it and she posted it on Instagram to congratulate me. Then my boyfriend saw that I won the award and never told him. That’s something we agreed on both ends shouldn’t occur. We want to hear firsthand about each other’s successes and setbacks. It goes both ways. It’s important to communicate your wins with your partner as much as your losses.
LETTING THEM KNOW YOUR SCHEDULE: I think it’s important to not get caught up in texting your person all day long. You both have separate lives, and that should be valued and respected. If you know you aren’t going to answer your phone all day because you will be studying, send them a quick text. This way, expectations have been set. You’re not wondering why they’re not answering their texts; you don’t think they’re mad at you, etc. It’s an easy way to eliminate stress if you tend to get anxious about situations like that!
DATES TO LOOK FORWARD TO: It doesn’t need to be set in stone each time you see your person, but find potential dates when you can plan to see each other. Maybe you plan to visit them first or vice versa. Try to come up with a little something to look forward to because we all want to have that date in our minds.
WORDS WORDS WORDS: Don’t just update your person about your schedule for the day, tell them you love them! Let them know you want them to do great on their test. Tell them you miss them. Don’t forget to still be affectionate with each other. They’re the person you chose. They chose you. Let them know that.
FUN THINGS: Sometimes, both my boyfriend and I send each other a Venmo for coffee that day. Little acts like that can turn your day around. Send each other posts on Instagram or Tiktok that you cackle at or that remind you of them. All these little things show your significant other that you’re thinking of them.
It’s up to you and your partner to choose how to handle long distance. I’m not saying that there can’t be hard moments, but I suggest keeping these tips in mind these to help you find better communication, have fun, and remain excited for the next time you both see each other. You both have to be willing to put in the work, and if you want it to work, it absolutely can! You just have to find what is best for both of you; that’s what makes your relationship your own.