Finding My Third Space

As a high school student, I often felt like I was running on autopilot. Wake up early, go to my classes, head to practice, do homework, sleep and repeat. Every day followed the same pattern, and as much as I loved routine, I also felt stuck.

I craved something that was just for me — somewhere I could go that wasn’t school, home or another obligation. A place where I didn’t have to be a student, teammate, daughter or sister. I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but I longed for a space that felt like a break, but also somewhere that I actually wanted to be. 

That’s when I discovered a local spin studio. At first, I wasn’t sure it would be my thing. I had always played team sports, and the idea of walking into a class where I didn’t know anyone felt intimidating, but with the motivation and company of my dad, I tried it out. From the moment I walked in, the energy was unlike anything I had experienced before. The music was loud, the lights were dim and the instructor was hyping everyone up before class even started. 

Pretty quickly, I became addicted to spin classes and found myself going multiple times a week. These classes were my escape, a place where I could shut out all of the noise running through my head and just move. It wasn’t long before I started going regularly, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. The studio became a place outside of home and school where I could just exist, free from everything else. 

Looking back, I recognize just how much introducing that space did for me. It gave me independence when I needed it most, a sense of belonging that wasn’t tied to academics or sports and a mental reset from the routines of daily life. I didn’t have the words for it then, but what I was searching for was exactly what sociologist Ray Oldenburg described as a “Third Space” — a place beyond work (or school) and home that provides connection and community. 

Oldenburg introduced the concept of the “Third Space” in the 1980s. He described Third Spaces as places that are neither home (the “First Space“) nor work (the “Second Space“), but rather neutral, social environments where people can gather and interact: spaces essential for creating a sense of community and belonging. 

For college students, this need for connection and balance is particularly important. College is a time of transition, growth and constant movement. Between classes, assignments, co-ops and social pressures, it’s easy to feel like you’re always on the go or completely drained. That’s why having a Third Space — a place to escape, reset and connect outside of academic and home life — is crucial for maintaining mental health, sparking creativity and finding balance amid the demands of student life. 

College can be exciting, but it can also be lonely. For me, even when surrounded by people, it was easy to feel disconnected, especially with so much of the day spent in lectures, studying or working on assignments. In my experience, college culture often glorifies being “busy,” placing an emphasis on late-night studying, packed schedules and the idea that if you’re not stressed, you’re not working hard enough.

But this constant grind mentality leads to burnout fast, so for me, it was important to find a Third Space quickly when transitioning to a new city and schedule. It wasn’t about becoming best friends with everyone there, it was about feeling connected in a way that didn’t require constant small talk or effort. Just showing up, being around familiar faces and sharing an experience helped me feel less isolated.  

A Third Space doesn’t have to be a spin studio. It can be a local café, a rec center, a club meeting or even a favorite study spot. What matters is that it’s a space where you can exist outside of the expectations of college life. In a time of so much change and uncertainty, finding a Third Space can offer a sense of stability. It’s a place that reminds you that college isn’t just about grades and resumes — it’s about experiencing life, connecting with people and making space for yourself outside of the chaos. 

At first, the spin studio was just a place to escape, a break from the stress of school, the pressure of college applications, and the routines of daily life. But over time, it became more than just a location. It became a part of who I am. 

I started to notice the shift when spin wasn’t just something I did, but something that shaped how I moved through the rest of my life. The energy I felt after class carried into my day. Those around me even noticed that I was becoming more focused, confident and outgoing. More than anything, the studio became a place where I felt like me, outside of being a student, an athlete or whatever role I was filling. 

Looking back, I realize that my Third Space wasn’t just a physical place, it was a shift in mindset. It taught me the value of carving out time for myself, finding community in unexpected places and prioritizing balance over burnout. Even now, that lesson sticks with me. No matter where I am, I know I need a space like that, one where I can step away from the outside noise and just be. 

• balance
• community
• connection
• third space