Halloween may be officially over, but Halloweekend is just beginning. Chances are you’re going to some kind of costume party this weekend and while they’re always a good time, here are 5 reasons in reality, they kind of suck.
1. You spend an insane amount of money on a costume only to find out someone is wearing the exact same thing as you.
It’s like prom but worse because you’re both dressed as Miley Cyrus. Chances are if you think you have a clever costume, you don’t. Girls will be dressed as flappers, slutty animals, your favorite childhood cartoon characters and anything that just became socially irrelevant. So if you’re going to a party just make your own costume. You’ll most likely be upstaged anyways so why not save the 40 dollars you were planning on using to buy a Tinkerbell costume with and use it to buy multiple pizzas instead.
2. It’s impossible to tell which guys are cool and which ones are douchebags.
Guys either wear highly sexualized costumes that show off their body or incredibly immature costumes that highlight their unfathomable immaturity. Either way, Halloween parties only emphasize how terrible college guys actually are. The guys most worthwhile to talk to are usually the ones decked out in masks or full body costumes. And if you do run into one of them you’ll probably hit it off right away- until they take their mask off and you realize they look like Gollum from “Lord of Rings.”
3. Regardless of what you wear, someone will be judging you.
Whether you go to the party dressed as Marie Antoinette or go to the party dressed as a cat, chances are there will be one bitch in the corner sizing you up. Girls are extremely territorial and halloween is one of the few times of the year when they can do something that will have all eyes on them. So it’s understandable that they irrationally hate anyone who presents any challenge to them. If you really don’t want to get the stink eye from girls, try to find the blandest outfit possible. If girls don’t feel threatened by your presence they’ll most likely ignore you and focus their hatred on the slutty mermaid in the corner.
4. CALORIES.
Have you ever read the nutrition facts of something like a Reeses’ cup? Candy may be bite size but it has enough calories to make your head want to explode. And it gets worse- Halloween parties combine caloric candy with alcohol, which is also very fattening. So whether you come to the party just for the candy or just to take shots of Rubi, chances are you’ll be leaving having consumed roughly 1000 more calories than you had before you got there.
5. You’ll have to witness the death of your childhood over and over.
As a child, Halloween is everyone’s favorite holiday apart from the winter ones. It’s a time when you get to dress up like your favorite character, explore the neighborhood with your best friends and eat your weight in candy. College halloween parties remind you of how much Halloween has changed now that we’ve gotten older. Instead of people dressing up like their favorite superhero we see girls dressed up like slutty versions of Batgirl or Spongebob. Instead of exploring a neighborhood, we spend our night sitting in dingy apartment drinking six dollar wine out of a solo cup. And while we still may be eating our weight in candy, it just isn’t the same. Maybe because the night usually ends up with us throwing up uncontrollably because of the mix of cheap alcohol and Twix Bars.