It’s officially past spooky season meaning candy has been flying off the racks like crazy. All the classics like Hershey’s, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kats, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst and so much more sold out fast. Then there’s the one that’s mingled in between all these great wonders – candy corn. Every year, stores stock up on it (even though we know the ones from last year obviously didn’t sell), where they eventually end right back on their designated discount shelves. So you may be asking, why are they still the trademark candy of Halloween?!? Here are five things that stores should consider before putting candy corn on their shelves next year:
1. They are made of the weirdest ingredients
Have you actually taken a bite of candy corn and thought wow, I can really indulge myself in these? (Please say no…) They are made of 12 ingredients (sorry corn isn’t one of them) including four different sweeteners, various food dyes and wax (yes you read that right). It also contains gelatin, meaning it’s not vegetarian/vegan and its waxy coating is confectioner’s glaze which is made from bug secretions (spooky season, am I right?).
2. They don’t even taste good
If you aren’t outright disgusted by the ingredients, the taste will get to you. It’s basically all sugar, yet when you bite into it, there sure isn’t a rush of sweetness that hits you (what a shame honestly). It has one of the weirdest textures – the plastic/waxy coating combined with its chalky chew is a little too gross for me. If I am trying to have the night of my life eating as much sweets as I can without being judged, candy corn is for sure on the bottom of my list.
3. They are sold in massive packages
Don’t you think it is suspicious that no candy corn brand has manufactured it so that it comes in individual packages? Maybe because they know that children would never choose this on the night of Halloween trick-or-treating (and we know that kids will literally eat anything with sugar). It’s almost like they expect people to serve them on a platter for guests at a party (has anyone seen this happen?!?). Whatever the reason (conspiracy theories anyone?), I’m on to them.
4. They used to be advertised as animal food
When the company first produced candy corn, they called it “Chicken Feed.” While it was not intended for chickens, the choice of name still says a lot about it. If the creators were quick to point out their similarities to animal food, shouldn’t you be concerned? Their containers even had a nice rooster illustration and tagline that said, “Something worth crowing for.” Search up “goats enjoying candy corn” on Google for a fun surprise.
5. Tooth decay from it is too real
Call me dramatic, but candy corn is really out to get you. Their high sugar content makes them hated by dentists. Unless you want a set of dentures this coming Halloween, I suggest you lay off of these evil creatures.