37 Thoughts I Had During the Scream Queens Premiere

  1. What is going on?

  2. That guy looks like a creepy Green Goblin.

  3. The green toxic swamp is not helping with the DC Comics vibe.

4. Of course this chick in the backstory is pregnant.

5. Why is that girl’s feet so hairy?

6. I know I am old if I am way more attracted to John Stamos than Taylor Lautner.

7. Although maybe that is Stephanie Meyer’s fault.

8. Why does Dean Munsch own a hospital?!

9. LOL @ the Cosby dig

10. Wait, what is even going on?

 

11. If Hester took AP Government, this would not have happened to her.

12.I’m so glad Grace is gone. And her weird Dad

13. YAS ZAYDAY

14. Zayday can do WAY better than being a waitress.

15. Of course she went to med school.

16. Well, now I am afraid of my own garbage disposal.

17. YAAAAAAAS THE CHANELS

18. Gagging at Chanel No. 3’s job

19. I wonder what a Fruit Pie tastes like?

20. Dean Munsch really rocks all black outfits.

21. The outfits are still amazing.

22. And I want Keke Palmer’s necklace

23. John Stamos stroking Catherine’s leg is really making me uncomfortable…

24. *spits wine out at the sasquatch comment*

25. Is that Kristie Alley?

26. What is an NJ Six? Seeing as I am from NJ, I am curious and likely to be offended.

27. Is it still New New Feminism if you are being catty in the workplace? Sheryl Sandberg would NOT approve.

28. But honestly Zayday, a lobotomy was a horrible suggestion. This is not One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

29. My favorite part of this show are definitely the digs at Chanel No. 5

30. Imagine if those creepy bath chambers were part of a spa deal?

31. I feel claustrophobic just looking at them.

32. Well, someone is going to die.

33. Why is the Green Goblin costume oozing? Did the killer literally come out of the toxic swamp from the beginning?

34. Honestly, it better be Catherine because how can I laugh at digs at Chanel No. 5 if she is dead?

35. Well, it was nice knowing you Catherine.

36. CHANEL NO. 5 BETTER BE ALIVE

37.Shit, she is not in the promo for episode 2.