- You physically cringe every time you need to buy a book
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Why is this book $200 and why do I need three of them? Does it come with a performance of chapters one through five by Beyoncé the day before my test?
- You’ve spent the whole night walking to a party address you found in a GroupMe chat
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You joined this group chat before you even got to college, thinking it would be an easy way to have fun, make friends, and get into Frats. Turns out, that Frat party you were so excited about is a 25 minute walk, at a different school, and the dude in the muscle tee at the front door won’t let you in!
- You suddenly can’t do ANYTHING without taking a nap
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In high school you were up all hours of the day doing homework or playing sports. Now? You need to take a nap after scrolling through the “back to school” feed on Instagram and washing your hair in the communal shower. Both are hard work.
- You make an effort to wear a cute outfit and be ten minutes early to class
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A great outfit makes a great impression on the first day right? Good thing you sweat buckets through your clothing on the way over —your frizzy hair and your melted mascara gives you a lovely smokey black eye look. It only took you about six circles to find your class!
- You take the stairs to your dorm on the fourth floor to “be active”
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You do not know how much pain your calves experience on those stairs until you are in bed the next day wondering why they are on fire, but will still choose this over working out next to the guy who apparently has no classes and lives at the gym.
- Google Maps leads you to everything but your classes
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We rely on our phones to do most of the work these days. They are supposed to be helpful — NOT take you on the longer route under a bridge and through Narnia to get to your class that turned out to be just across the street.
- You would rather eat off a paper towel than wash your dishes
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“I am going to be responsible and wash my dishes after eating a meal I made in my dorm room!”
No you’re not. You are going to steal a muffin from the dining hall and eat it later on a napkin on your desk.
- You throw a fit when someone takes your mentally claimed shower
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Honestly, it’s just rude for someone to pick at something that sensitive so early in the morning.
- You have been forced to socialize so many times you lost any original skills you might have had
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Mandatory dance party tonight? If I memorize any more names and majors I won’t have any space for when classes start.
- You’ve had to say goodbye to the tapestries and fairy lights you bought, but were not allowed to have in your dorm room
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Yeah, I guess having a fire in my dorm would be worse than not having people look up at my window from the sidewalk and saying “look how sick that room looks with the purple lights”
- You suddenly remember how many clubs bribed you with candy when the emails start coming in
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One minute you have a pocket full of Starbursts, the next minute your pocket is empty and your inbox is full of emails from the Rock-Paper-Scissors Club.
- People keep asking you if you miss your parents, and then you remember that your dog doesn’t know why you are gone
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…..”I’m fine”