Shoot Your Shot

One of the most dreaded days is coming up, Valentine’s Day. But the day doesn’t have to be such a bad one. This is your sign, if you like someone and would like to spend the day with them… ask them out. I understand COVID-19 is such a cock-blocker (sorry, couldn’t think of another word) but if you are comfortable with it, and do routinely testing, maybe you could spend the day with someone you’ve been fearing to ask out. I know it may be scary to ask someone out first but trust me, it is worth it. Whether it works out or it doesn’t. 

Growing up, we were told by everyone, that men do the pursuing, and women look desperate if they try it. This has been taught to us for ages, so we have all started to believe it. I grew up thinking this and honestly, that could be a reason why I’ve been single for a long time (just kidding). Just a while back we were talking in my Spanish class about how the gender roles used to be versus how they are now and when I mentioned that sometimes I talk to the guy first, some people looked at me funny, but I didn’t care. 

Nowadays women are starting to leave that old mindset behind, (finally)! I first “shot my shot” (the way people call it nowadays) in 7th grade, I did not do it directly, but it counts. My friend asked the boy out for me, he said no (what did I expect by sending my friend over, huh?) but I made the first move! I’ve shot my shot a few times since, some were successful, some weren’t. I do get the “when women do the pursuing first, it looks desperate” or the “women shouldn’t do that, it isn’t right. We were made to be pursued not to pursue” and trust me, every time I hear this my heart does a little jump. The little jump is the fear of, “what if they’re right?” but they’re not, if someone wants to live in the 1900s let them, but if you want to do the pursuing, do it! 

I am not saying that if a man pursues you (and you like him), shut him down because now WE do the pursuing, no. What I am saying is that if you like someone, and they are not doing the pursuing, do it yourself. Yes, there is always the possibility of rejection but so what? Do you really want to live your life in fear? If they say no, what’s the worst that could happen? 

 

Scenario of possible rejections:

“Hey, would you like to go get some coffee, later?”

“No thanks” or “Nope” or “Nah I’m good”

 

OK, that last one is a bit harsher than the rest; I’ll admit. But trust me what if they say yes? It’s almost always a 50/50. Don’t live in fear, or in the constant thought that consumes us all “what will others say/think?”. Also, think about it like this, if they say no, then you can move on to the next person! No need to wait around for someone to finally step up. Life is too short to wait around on other people for a chance at love.

 

P.S. I am also not saying that you need someone for V-Day, be single and proud if that is what you desire! I am all for it!  

P.S. pt. 2 I have also heard that some men like it when women do the pursuing sometimes, it’s refreshing, gives them a break (but remember we are doing this for ourselves).