You, yes you reading this, you’re amazing! But have you told yourself that lately? Here is the thing, we often seek admiration and approval from others. However, we fail to find it from the person that perhaps is the most important, ourselves.
Let me ask you something, would you be mad if someone questioned your intelligence, constantly shamed you for your weight, or belittled you in any way? Your answer is most likely yes. A person being disrespectful towards you would probably send you over the edge. If we can’t accept disrespect from others, why do we choose to be disrespectful and shameful towards ourselves? Let’s face it, there’s probably been a time where you’ve referred to yourself as an idiot or something similar for little mistakes. There have also been times where you may have looked at yourself in the mirror, and not liked what you saw. So you vocalize it by shaming yourself and using words like “too fat” or “too skinny.”
Sadly, this is very common. Everyone has insecurities and it’s completely normal, but it becomes a problem when we allow the insecurities blind us and turn us into our biggest enemy. Degrading ourselves should not be an option, it’s okay to be aware of your imperfections. We are not perfect nor should we believe that we are. However, we should practice the art of self-love. We need to learn to be nicer to ourselves. Because we ultimately harm our self-esteems more than anyone ever could. Therefore there are ways that can help.
Try looking at yourself in the mirror and compliment yourself on something. There must be a feature that you really like about yourself! It’s okay to recognize it and be happy with it. It is not being conceited or narcissist to recognize your beauty. Once in a while, it’s nice to give yourself that affirmation instead of someone else.
Another way to master self-love is to motivate yourself and encourage yourself on a consistent basis. For example, if you have a big interview or presentation, don’t assume that you’re gonna mess it up. Discouraging yourself does not help the situation and will not make you feel confident in what you’re doing. In my personal experience, I have never done great on something, when I tell myself that I can’t. Therefore, next time you have a big event coming up, be your biggest supporter and your biggest motivator. Because if you don’t believe in your own ability to complete something, how do you expect others to?
The next thing to mastering self-love is something that I struggle with the most. That is using disrespectful words towards myself in front of others. Like I said before, being disrespectful towards yourself is not healthy, but doing it in front of others is detrimental. I get it, we are human and we make mistakes and we get frustrated with ourselves. From time to time it’s okay to recognize that frustration. But, choosing hateful language towards ourselves in the presence of others, only allows them to be hateful towards us, too. By talking to yourself poorly, you’re giving others the chance to do the same.
So, if you take away anything from this article, it is to treat yourself like you want others to treat you. You’re amazing and little by little you will master the art of self-love.