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Let’s Talk about Sex Baby

So many things have changed in the last twenty years. We have switched from telephones to wireless computers that remain in our hands, cars, and drive themselves, love is celebrated and rights are finally equal however, we are still in the process of changing things. So many things have become normalized in our millennial society. Not always a bad thing, but one thing in particular that seems to strike my fancy is sex. This past decade we have seen several movements that aim to normalize sex in our society. By normalize I mean that we have stopped appropriating random hook-ups and having many sexual partners. One of the most famous movements we recognize, is Celebrity personality Amber Rose’s slut walk. This gathering is geared toward stopping men and women from shaming women for their sex lives and preferences. From a woman’s point of view, I can agree with Rose’s movement. Men and women do need to stop concerning themselves with what women are doing in bed. Men have never been scrutinized for being womanizers and having more than just a couple of sexual partners, women on the other hand get referred to as “hoes” and “sluts” for acting the same way. But I also have to question, and this is for all genders men and women, why are we trying so hard to normalize sex? Hooking up has been practically made into a joke and men and women alike are flaunting their promiscuous ways as if they were a new outfit. The psychology behind sex goes much deeper than just “wanting to get laid” or just “needing some dick”. The fact that this hook-up culture is promoted so heavily is a little bit concerning. By promoting this idea we are failing to promote that sex can also be harmful, and by making it seem so casual we are creating blurred lines for sexual predators to use in their defense. The idea that sex is just sex makes it easy for a predator to say that sexual harassment or crimes aren’t that big of a deal. This is only part of the problem. Sex isn’t just sex. Sex is a way to make a child, sex is a way to get a life threatening disease, and sex is a way to become psychologically ill. Sex is not just sex. By normalizing sex we are putting the idea out there that is it normal to just jump into bed with someone and it’s not. Having many different sexual partners indicates that a person is suffering from depression and trauma from earlier in their life. An article published in Psychology today gathered information from different studies conducted in the nation, all those studies provided enough information to prove that there was in fact a correlation between mental health and multiple sex partners. Hooking up isn’t necessarily bad, having many sexual partners isn’t necessarily bad. It all depends on context.

Something also to consider, is the affect normalizing sex has on younger generations. Kids have access to everything which already makes growing up hard enough. Constantly posting memes about hooking up and getting it in are setting examples for younger kids to follow. If we think it’s normal, they begin to think it’s normal. We can talk about sex with them, but why not talk about how a guy that you hooked up with didn’t call you the next day, and how it made you feel? Why not talk about how hard it was to find money to pay for your anti-biotics when you got and STD because you didn’t want your insurance getting billed so your mom wouldn’t find out? Why not talk about how some girl you barely knew is asking you to help her pay for her abortion? There’s some very real sides to sex that no one wants to talk about. And what is even sadder, is that those are the very normal parts as well. They just aren’t the fun parts.

Normalizing sex also takes away the beauty of relationships. Millennials religiously post about ending relationships, taking girlfriends and boyfriends away, and cheating. These aren’t religious views. These are simply morals. Are we seriously normalizing not having morals? Are we such an uncontrolled generation that we laugh about doing the wrong things and pride ourselves on being promiscuous? So many women fought for the right to vote and to be respected but this is not how we respect ourselves or others. So many men have died doing such heroic things for men that pride themselves on being bad people? I can agree that we should no longer shame people for what they do behind closed doors. But normalizing sex is so very different. By not slut shaming we are making a vow not to judge and to hold everyone equally to the same standards, men and women, but by normalizing sex we are setting ourselves up for poor mental and physical health, as well as a society with lack of human decency.   

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