I Am Not “That Friend"



I watched a video once titled “I Am Not That Girl.” It was a short little YouTube clip I happened to stumble upon on one of my late-night browsing sessions.

I read an article once called “I’m The Girl Without A “Friend Group.”” Found it on Facebook one day and couldn’t help but immediately be intrigued by the title. 

What do these two things have in common? 

Absolutely nothing but me. 

I didn’t think anything of it when I clicked on them, only thinking they would be inspirational and have a few little quotes I’d remember for a time, but they weren’t. It wasn’t like that at all and I didn’t think I’d end up relating to either of these on so many levels. I didn’t think they would relate to my life and help me through so many hard times. 

And let me really kick this off by saying that I am not that friend. Yes, I know tacky to combine the two together but hey. I grew up being the social butterfly of every interaction I encountered, talking with people, making friends with everyone. I was the person that people would turn to for a laugh or a bit of advice. But now, I’m nowhere near that. 

I am not the type of girl that puts on a full face of makeup and their best outfit to go to class. I’m not the type of girl to hop from relationship to relationship. I’m not the friend you would usually ask to go dancing or partying with. 

I am not that friend and it took me years to realize that that was okay. 

I’m the friend that gives advice, the friend that dishes out the brutal truth, the friend to be your rock when no one else is. I’m the friend to sit around and have an all-day Netflix binge, the friend that likes the calm days out. 

I’m that friend. 

But I’m also the friend, the girl, that misses out on a lot. 

I’m not the friend to be invited to parties, or to get glammed up to go out on the town. I’m not the first person that comes to many people’s minds. I feel as though I’m the second-choice friend at times. I’m not the friend people come to with good news or when they get that urge to hang out. 

I am not that friend. 

But because of this, I learned to be strong, not just for others but for myself as well. I learned that I was never meant to constantly have someone, be it a boyfriend or best friend, by my side so I learned to be there for myself. I learned that being alone is sometimes the best company a girl can have. I learned who my friends and allies were in a time when I would need someone to be there for me. 

I learned that it’s okay to be angry at a situation because there are better times lying just ahead. I learned that not everyone is going to care and that having the few who really do is better than a group of absent-minded people who will never truly love you.  

I learned to be the girl who loves herself. 

A girl who realizes my worth is more than who is standing by my side. A girl who is confident in herself every single day and knows what she wants. A girl, who despite everything life has thrown her way, can still be strong. A girl who realizes that independence is not a bad thing. 

I learned to be that girl and thank god for it. 


Links to both article and the video: