Ghosting. It’s the technological disappearing act cemented into our little digital hearts. Many of us know about it, some of us know it a little too well. The way I see it is, you’re either the “ghoster”, the “ghostee”, or the questionably pure. Regardless, there has probably been a time when you encountered ghosting.
If you were to tell me at age 14 that cutting off all communication to someone with no notice or indication would be a thing, I would have probably questioned your morals for even thinking that could be an option. Probably would have come up with a scenario about a boy (who had yet to exist) just ignoring me and breaking my heart. Then I would have played “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly and AJ to empower my simulated jaded soul. But that’s beside the point. If you would ask me that today, I’d be honest. I have mixed emotions about ghosting. Apart of me thinks it’s wrong and hurtful, but then there are times when it seems like the only option. So, when is it really okay to ghost someone? I believe there are considerable moments when you have to put on that cloak of invisibility. Harry wouldn’t mind.
- When They Make You Feel Uncomfortable or Unsafe.
You have every right to cut contact and block someone from your life if they make you feel uneasy. Whether it’s someone you’ve just meet or someone you’ve known for a while, if that person makes you feel unsafe, you cut that cord. If they are being disrespectful, inappropriate, or vulgar, you gotta go! Your safety, sanity, and serenity are the priority.
- When They Are Being Pushy.
There are times when you’re just getting to know someone. The text conversations are amazing, the phone conversations are exciting, and y’all always have a Snapchat convo going on. You think you’ve met your soulmate. Then you meet them and it’s just not the same. They are being really pushy, and their tone or body language is just all wrong. That’s when you’ve got the green light to ghost. If they don’t respect your boundaries and are being too aggressive with you physically or emotionally, get your ghost on for good.
- You’re Just Not That into Them and They Won’t Take No for An Answer.
If being direct isn’t working and “no” doesn’t seem to be in their vocabulary, then ghosting is the only option. We know when aren’t vibin with someone and most of us have the heart to tell that individual, personally. But there are those you can’t take a hint, even when its in plain text. You’ve made it clear, you were honest and genuine. “Thank you, next” type of attitude all the way. That’s when you know it’s time to bust a “these boots were made for walking.” Walking into oblivion.
Ghosting isn’t anything new, but now we have the technology to digitally disappear without a trace. With this type of power comes great responsibility of other people’s emotions. In certain circumstances, ghosting is a given. However, for those you just aren’t feeling, for those who are kind, but not someone you keep in mind; let go and let them know. Realize the other person has a heart and soul just like your own, feelings that can be tainted. So, don’t ghost the good ones, friendzone them. But that’s a whole other story.