Confidence; how would you define it? Looking attractive? Feeling good? Where is the line between confidence and cockiness? We all have our own idea of what confidence is, but how many of us can actually say we’re confident?
I will admit when I was a teenager I’d mistake confidence for vanity pretty much every time I saw an attractive girl. Us girls, we’re conditioned to bring other girls down, to compare ourselves and hate on girls for ridiculous standards imprinted in our minds over the course of our whole life. We hate each other for wearing too much makeup, not enough makeup, being too feminine, not being feminine enough, being too skinny, being too fat, being insecure and being confident. We need more of that Robin and Lily love from HIMYM; if you assess your beauty by the standards set out by society you will never be confident, and more importantly, happy.
Be beautiful for YOU
As a mixture of an introvert and an extrovert, I know all too well the additional struggles faced by introverts. Besides having these impossibly high standards thrust upon us, we also have to take into account our shyness and often avoidance of social situations or being the centre of attention. Sometimes it feels like you don’t want to wear things that would make you feel good because you don’t want people to look at you, or you wear less make up because you don’t want people to judge you. But I’m here to be your personal Gina Linetti (absolute icon from Brooklyn 99) and tell you to DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
It’s hard to go outside your personal comforting bubble as to how you look; how many times have you see an outfit that was absolutely beautiful but you were scared to buy it because it was a little ‘out there’? Bit too much skin on show, bit too colourful for you? Why buy something that’s going to cause people to look at you? You have to realize that what you wear is for you and for you only. If you want to dress up for a special occasion or a special someone that’s cool, but never let people’s opinion stop you from wearing something. Wear the shortest skirt you can find, or a cow onesie, whatever floats your boat. Going outside of your comfort zone WILL make you grow as a person. The first time I wore blue lipstick out I felt so conscious of people looking at me, but when I saw my reflection in a window I thought ‘wow, those smurf lips look amazing though!’.
Comparing yourself to other people
Break the habit of lurking on other peoples social media and comparing yourself to them! Don’t do it in real life either, but it appears to be a huge issue mainly with social media networks. Unfollow the accounts that make you feel bad, the Instagram models, the Kardashians, anyone who makes you question your own sense of self-love and beauty. Social media is a usually a lie; it’s a beautiful, posed, unreal look at other people’s lives.