Every Monday at 8 p.m. I sit down to watch The Bachelor with a couple of friends. It has become both a ritual and a bonding activity, yet every time someone walks past us, we quickly become self-conscious and make jokes about it – even though we really enjoy watching the franchise.
The Bachelor/Bachelorette has been a constant ratings winner for ABC, and according to Variety it is winning it’s two-hour timeslot in 18-49, 25-54, 18-34 and with all key female demos. Regardless of their high ratings, the show is practically objectifying women, it’s lacking in diversity, it’s staged, it’s a cliche, and it’s hardly successful in achieving its goal of finding everlasting love for these potential couples. The franchise has the men line the women up, like they are competing for a best-in-show title, and rates them on their Barbie-esque bodies and faces; so as far as shows go… The Bachelor is a feminist’s nightmare.
However, many ‘I’m With Her’ feminists (including myself) watch this show religiously. For two hours we watch women compete for a man’s love (who in my opinion are way too good for him…sorry Nick), they cry, they fight, and get drunk all for the attention of this year’s Bachelor, Nick Viall. There’s plenty of screentime devoted to making out and questions about how important it is to open up/confess your love, however, things that seriously affect relationships don’t come up at all. Questions like if they’re a dog or cat person, or opinions including their stance on America’s political nightmare, are traded out for more makeout scenes.
If it is so easy to list the reasons as to why the franchise is awful, why do we keep buying into it?
What makes The Bachelor/Bachelorette so enjoyable and entertaining to watch?
Most importantly, am I continuing the sexist notions and stereotypes the show is built on?
I would say no because in the end of it all, I’m not buying into the transparent lies that are constructed into the show. A lot of viewers are able to recongnize that the things going on in the show are painfully harmful to feminism and are created to gain more views. All over Twitter, under #theBachelor, you’ll be able to find criticism from women and men from all walks of life. They point out what the show got right and wrong, and talk about the way the show represents women and even encourages traditional stereotypes. To me, this hashtag is an open, honest discussion about our culture and what we perpetuate onto society, a refreshing and excellent thing to see.
What this shows more than anything though, is that we can love things while acknowledging the issues that surround it.
Feminists may only claim to be ironically watching or hate-watching The Bachelor, but if we are wasting two-hours every Monday night, live tweeting and yelling things at our television then we’re really buying into it. I came to this conclusion a while ago and it’s a hard reality to face, but once you realize it, watching this TV show becomes more enjoyable. It’s not our fault the show hits at our vulnerability, and gets us crying along with the contestants. The Bachelor hits us in the deepest part of our emotions where we crave the same love and fulfillment the contestants are feeling, this is exactly why it has been a hit for all these years.
At the end of every season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette, regardless of the show’s numerous failures, everyone finds themselves rooting for the proposal and the rare fairytale ending. Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist, penned a powerful essay for The New York Times where she wrote about her own Bachelor obsession:
“I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. The real shame of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, is that they know where we are most tender, and they aim for the right place.”
The Bachelor may be a piece of reality television trash, but it gives friends a reason to get together on a Monday night, have a good laugh, and create memories… and that is something I am all for.