Stage 1: Confusion
When you first came back to New Paltz this past August and heard there were no water bottles sold on campus anymore you were like…
Stage 2: Depression
So you went to Stop and Shop and got your own cases of water bottles, only to find that those would not last that long, and you would once again be water bottle-less.
Stage 3: Thirsty
This stage often hits when you are in class and realize you don’t have water with you. You haven’t had water in hours. You walk to the vending machine only to find soda and Powerade.
Stage 4: Defeat
You decide to purchase the school water bottle with the chip that allows you to get unlimited beverages from the Coke machines on campus.
Stage 5: Denial
You like to tell yourself that you’ll make healthy choices and use the bottle to get mostly water, not soda.
Stage 6: Reality
Who are you kidding? An unlimited amount of soda is too good to pass up!
Stage 7: Rock Bottom
Eventually you realize that 3 refills of Coke and a Powerade every day is probably taking years off of your lifetime, but you’re still stuck with this $37 water bottle. Now you’re sad, broke, and dehydrated.
Stage 8: Acceptance
You’ve come to terms with the fact that you will never get water bottles on campus, and you’ve learned to use your expensive water bottle for good, not soda.
Stage 8: Relapse
Start the process all over again once you realize your reusable bottle smells like a combination of gatorade, sprite, coke, and who knows what because you don’t have a dishwasher in your dorm to properly clean it.