A Letter To My Facebook Friends Addicted to Food Porn

Dear Heartless Facebookers,

My nightly routine, just as most millennials nowadays, consists of climbing into bed and scrolling through social media with my phone illuminating my face in the dark. 

Now that Facebook’s popularity has begun to rise again, I noticed I have been having a hard time falling asleep. Yes, I’ll admit it may be in part because I can’t say no to the seemingly endless array of puppy videos… but there is a bigger problem out there on social media keeping me awake at night:

FOOD PORN

Personally, only a few things are more traumatic than watching a fresh guac tutorial when I know damn well there are no avocados for me.  Going to bed hangry is an impossible and unreasonable thing to ask of a young woman.

It is midnight. Are you seriously going to make fried mac ‘n cheese right now? 

I didn’t think so. Please do me a favor and end my suffering. The only food I can find in my dorm room at this time is stale Goldfish, and that is most definitely not going to fill the void in my heart (or my stomach).

I am sick of tired of listening to my screaming tummy when I shut my eyes. Think before you share.

Sincerely,

A Hangry Human