Five Ways to Avoid Adulthood

Fall is here and upperclassmen are reminded of the harsh reality we have to face soon: adulthood. Building up your resume, searching for internships, and applying for jobs is overwhelming and exhausting. Luckily, I have found that the best way to handle what life throws at you is to ignore it and rebel. Immaturity is the way to go.

If you’re looking for the ultimate ways to avoid adulthood, I have racked up the 5 best ways to do just that. Start a Twitter fight. Is there really a better way to waste your time? This is a great tip exemplified even by our current presidential candidates themselves! If you are looking to avoid responsibility, reverting back to childlike behavior is key. Make sure to be as petty as possible.

Complain About Things That Can’t Be Resolved This is a good one because you’re looking at an endless array of options. You can easily continue complaining for an eternity, knowing the problem can’t be fixed. Look around and try to spot minor inconveniences in your daily life. Can you turn that into a 5 hour rant?

Gossip There is really no reason to worry about your own life when you can worry about everyone else’s! Try dedicating at least a few hours everyday solely on gossiping. **Brownie points if the issue at hand does not affect you at all.**

Mooch. Mooch off someone’s food, mooch off someone’s homework, and most importantly, mooch off someone’s dining dollars. Mooching is a fantastic way to save money and avoid taking responsibility for yourself. Nothing fights off growing up like dependence on other people’s resources.

Waste Someone's Time

I saved the best for last. Why would you choose to focus on things you actually need to do, when you can drag other people into your problems? Share useless lies, start a rumor, lead someone on, etc. Get creative! You know what they say: Misery loves company.

At this point, you should be fully educated on never growing up. Way to go, there is no way adulthood will consume you now!