There’s a moment that happens sometime in your early twenties when you realize Christmas doesn’t feel quite the same anymore. Maybe it hits you when you’re wrapping presents at 1 a.m., comparing prices on Amazon, or when you catch yourself mentally calculating how much you’ve spent on gifts. Or maybe it’s when you notice your parents looking a little more tired, the family gatherings feeling a little smaller, and the magic you remember from childhood feeling more like something you’re responsible for creating rather than simply experiencing. Welcome to Christmas in your twenties. It’s complicated, it’s bittersweet, and it’s okay to have feelings about it.
When You Become the One Who Plans
Remember when Christmas just… happened? Your parents orchestrated everything behind the scenes while you simply enjoyed the results. The tree appeared, perfectly decorated. Presents materialized under it. The house smelled like cookies and pine. Relatives showed up at the right time, dinner was ready at six, and all you had to do was show up and be merry.
Now? Now you’re getting text messages asking what time you’ll arrive, what you’re bringing to dinner, and whether you’ve bought a gift for your cousin yet. You’re suddenly expected to contribute to the holiday planning, and honestly, it’s exhausting. When did you become old enough to be assigned a dish for Christmas dinner? When did your opinion on family scheduling start to matter?
The shift from participant to planner happens gradually, then all at once. One year you’re a kid waiting for Santa, and the next you’re the one staying up late on Christmas Eve assembling someone else’s gift.
The Gift-Giving Anxiety Is Real
Childhood gift-giving was simple. You made construction paper cards, picked out presents with your parents’ money, and everyone thought it was adorable. Now you’re expected to buy meaningful gifts on a college student budget or entry-level salary.
You lie awake wondering if your gift is thoughtful enough, expensive enough, or if your sister will secretly hate the candle you got her. You’ve created elaborate spreadsheets to track your spending. You’ve watched seventeen YouTube videos on “affordable luxury gifts.” You’ve stress-eaten while scrolling through Etsy at 2 a.m.
And the worst part? You genuinely want to get people perfect gifts. You want your parents to know how much you appreciate everything they’ve done. You want your friends to feel seen and loved. But wanting that and affording that are two very different things, and the gap between them feels especially wide during the holidays.
When Traditions Start to Change
This might be the hardest part. Maybe your parents got divorced, and now there are two Christmases to navigate. Maybe grandparents have passed away, leaving gaps in traditions that used to feel permanent. Maybe siblings have partners now, and suddenly you’re sharing Christmas morning with people who have their own family traditions. Maybe you’re the one with a partner, trying to split time between two families and satisfying no one.
The holidays force you to confront change in a way that regular life doesn’t. Every missing face, every altered tradition, every “it’s not the same as it used to be” thought reminds you that time is passing, and nothing stays frozen in place, not even Christmas.
But Here’s the Thing About Growing Up
Yes, Christmas is different now. The magic has shifted from receiving it to creating it. But there’s something beautiful about that too, even if it’s harder to see through the stress and nostalgia.
You’re building new traditions. You’re learning what matters to you beyond the commercialism and obligations. You’re figuring out how to show love in tangible ways. You’re creating memories for younger siblings or cousins the way someone once created them for you.
And maybe, just maybe, the magic isn’t gone. It’s just that you’re finally old enough to see behind the curtain and realize that the magic was always created by people who loved you, and now you get to be one of those people for someone else.
Finding Your Own Version of Christmas
Your twenties are about figuring out what you want Christmas to be for you. Maybe that means setting boundaries with family. Maybe it means starting new traditions with friends. Maybe it means giving yourself permission to feel however you feel about the holidays without guilt.
It’s okay if you need to leave the party early because you’re overwhelmed. It’s okay if you cry in your childhood bedroom because things aren’t how they used to be. It’s okay if you feel the weight of adulthood pressing down on you during what’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.
But it’s also okay to find joy in the small things: the first snowfall, a perfectly wrapped present, your dad’s terrible jokes at dinner, staying up late with your siblings like you’re kids again, or the quiet moment on Christmas morning with your coffee before everyone else wakes up.
Christmas in your twenties is bittersweet, yes. But bittersweet doesn’t mean bad. It just means you’re growing, changing, and learning to hold multiple truths at once: that you miss how things were and you’re grateful for how things are. That adulthood is hard and also full of its own kind of magic. That Christmas hits different now, and maybe that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
So here’s to navigating the holidays in your twenties with all the stress, all the nostalgia, all the love, and all the messy, complicated feelings that come with growing up. You’re doing better than you think you are.