The infamous holiday that singles are indifferent about- Valentine’s Day.
But why is there such negative connotation surrounding those who are single on Valentine’s Day? Is it self-or-society imposed? Let’s discuss.
The true origins of valentine’s day are not fully known, and a great deal of speculation surrounds the beginnings of the holiday. We do know that the Romans may have had a massive impact on the start of this holiday. The Romans used to celebrate the feast of Lupercalia from February 13th to 15th. On February 14th of differing years, Emperor Claudius II executed two men both by the name of Valentine (The Dark Origins of Valentine’s Day https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day). Their persecutions were therefore esteemed by the Catholic Church, thus beginning the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day. Where the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day started being centered around the celebration of love is a little bit disjointed. It is believed that the Normans celebrated Galatin’s Day around the same period of time as the St. Valentine’s Day celebrations. Gelatin means “lover of women,” and so this is where historians believe that the two holidays got mixed together.
Moving more to the modern-day interpretation of Valentine’s day, we know the holiday to be celebrated as a commemoration of love and all of its parts. Going to school on valentine’s day in elementary school, all the kids brought fun valentines and containers to exchange them in. In middle school, we could purchase valentine grams to send to our friends that we loved, but also to someone we fancied in a more romantic way. In high school, students would bring stuffed animals and chocolates to those that they admired or were seeing. The traditions go on and on, and they follow almost the same path; showing your love and admiration for someone close to you. Most people look at valentine’s day as a romantic occasion, but why can’t we push this further? Why does the holiday have to be celebrated for those that have some kind of romantic relationship in their life, and patronized for those who don’t have those connections?
I often think about the answers to these questions. There can’t be one single answer to these questions, as one answer could not solve these complexities. I believe there are a few ways we can attempt to answer these questions.
First off, our society is ever-changing, but we must not forget the origins of what we used to be. Just a couple of decades ago, it was expected for a man to marry a woman and for the woman to depend heavily on the man for financial support. Think about, only a mere forty-five years ago in 1975, a woman could barely even open a bank account in her own name. This patriarchy in which women had to depend so much on their spouse ignited the dependence that our society has on obtaining a romantic relationship; it was simply the only option for a large number of people. I truly believe that our society has inflicted many of these norms that are associated with this holiday that falls on the 14th of February every year. Our society is changing and more self-dependent principles are being more accepted, of course. Regardless, we cannot ignore the truth in the fact that our society puts a dependency on obtaining a romantic partner.
Clearly, there is a lot of profit surrounding Valentine’s day as well. The profit that companies can bring in from the holiday is enormous. Besides buying gifts around the holiday, there is also the aspect of the mainstream media being involved. Major film companies are most definitely going to snatch up the opportunity to create content that appeals to the seasons. Producing more unrealistic and opportunistic films surrounding the holiday only further pushes the narrative of obtaining a romantic partner. When you introduce people to a concept so much and give it its own day of the year to be celebrated each and every year, there is no way that individuals aren’t going to feel the pressure of it.
Now, some of us truly do long to find “their other half” or “their soulmate,” and valentine’s day just stings when one realizes they haven’t found that yet. Nonetheless, why does this have to be painted in a negative light? Why should it be such a horrible thing if you don’t have a romantic partner in your life? Too often I feel that people focus on what they don’t have versus what they do. Think about all of the people that you love and care for in your life. Who comes to mind first? If you have a significant other, of course, you will think of this person too. But for a lot of people, their friends, family, colleagues, mentors, (etc.) pop up in their minds as well. Why base one holiday around romantic relationships and the love surrounding them, when we can expand the holiday to mean so much more?
I grew up always getting some type of card or chocolate from my grandparents and my parents on valentine’s day. Everyday on February 14th, I am reminded of the love and appreciation that they truly have for me. I am not sitting around, waiting for someone to merely bring my chocolates and flowers on the holiday. Of course, this would be nice, but why can’t we celebrate the others that we love in our lives without it being slightly tainted? Why can’t we change this depiction that we have of the holiday for the betterment of ourselves?
Valentine’s Day will always be tainted with the knowledge that it is a day to celebrate love, but why can’t we celebrate all kinds of love in our lives? This is what I aim to do, and I hope you do too.