As a heavy user of the internet, it is not hard to see a shift in the content that is being pushed out into those spaces. No matter your political party it seems to be an incredibly hateful place to be. Accounts I once found empowering and uplifting are now shifting into a more traditional and conservative point of view that shames women who use the freedoms afforded to them. This lifestyle, that they justify by calling “choice feminism,” is not based on female empowerment and advancement but instead has deep patriarchal roots and often sets women back.
The centering of men has been around forever, the very foundation of our country was made by men for men. It is no shock that this kind of thinking could make its way back into the minds of the modern woman. Over the years we have tried to combat this mindset with different movements. An example of this is the “girlboss” movement, in the 2010s this movement aimed to propel women into positions of power. Women were forced to shove themselves into the mold of man rather than changing the systems that they found themselves in. The women of this movement often were abrasive and aimed to act like the men that they see in similar positions. This pushed a narrative that if women weren’t exactly like men they were weak. Women can be soft and strong, they can be caring and intelligent. The girlboss movement failed to acknowledge that, thus it failed women.
In the 2020s, we were introduced to the “tradwife.” The tradwife is a woman that follows the traditional roles of man and woman, often taking inspiration from the women from the 1950s. These women do not work, they reject modern science, and they stay home while their husband is at work. He is praised for being the breadwinner and bringing in the income. They preach that motherhood is a woman’s true calling and they are not fulfilled without children. This is offensive for many reasons but the most obvious being the exclusion of trans-women, infertility, etc. The act of motherhood is not controversial, I believe that all children deserve the right to grow up in a loving home. The element that is controversial is that motherhood is done in pursuit of pleasing a man rather than one of selflessly loving your child.
The root of this movement is very closely linked to Christian nationalism. Christian nationalism is the promotion of Christianity in a way that demeans other ways of thinking. A fundamental Christian teaching is that God is the one true way. This, I believe, creates a sense of entitlement that propels ideas about anyone outside of the “in-group.” The “in-group” then makes a point to exclude and demean those that fall outside of it. This polarized way of thinking creates people who can base any claims on their beliefs rather than facts. You cannot expect people to follow the rules of a religion that they want no part in. Another fundamental teaching of Christianity is that women and men have specific roles. Women are meant to be gentle and quiet in spirit, they are expected to stay home with their children and keep the house tidy. Men are to be strong and hold the power in the household, they make the money and are to be respected, without question. Women are supposed to submit to their husbands, they willingly give up their power in their relationship in order to be cared for by the man entirely.
The problem with this is that there are so many ways of thinking that are not Christianity. These cultures and beliefs are every bit as valid and true to the individual as Christianity. So, when women get on the internet and shame other women for not following the rules they never agreed to because it is “God’s way” then you cannot help but see how this way of thinking is harmful to the average girl growing up on the internet.
Choice feminism cannot ever truly exist within the “tradwife culture” because you remove your own rights to choose. Staying at home with your children is not an inherently conservative act. Many women participate in more traditional hobbies and activities and yet fight for other women to be able to work and learn. Other women in this lifestyle fight for women to have less choice, they want to mold society back into a time when women were deemed lesser than. So, the issue with claiming choice feminism is that the choice is no longer yours because you made it that way. Feminism is the act of female liberation, it provides all women with choice. Freedoms for women were fought for with diligence, every right that we have today can be accredited to a woman who refused to settle for a life of mediocrity. Not all women are feminists, but all women benefit from the once radical ideas of the feminists that came before them.