This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at NCSU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
I lost my virginity to my high school boyfriend Brad. We started dating the summer before my senior year. We had a really good relationship. I felt comfortable and happy around him. We spent as much time together as we could. I waited eight months until I thought I was ready to have sex with him. It was the weekend before Valentine’s Day. We thought it would be appropriate to lose it then. After that night I had taken his virginity and he had taken mine. Two and a half years later, having tried to keep the relationship strong even with 200 miles between us, the relationship started to decrease. I could tell we were both drifting a part from each other.
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One night at a friend’s house I met Joey. I had seen him around before but we had never spoken. When I was telling everyone I was leaving, he boldly asked if he could walk me home. Instantly something went off in my head and heart. Joey was really cute, and such a sweetheart. I had a really hard time falling asleep that night because all I could think about was Joey. How much I enjoyed our conversation, and how nice it was that he walked me home. After that night things between Joey and I quickly took off. We started texting each other constantly and hanging out a lot more, just the two of us. About a week after Joey walked me home, I broke up with Brad. I knew I was doing the right thing, I could feel it. Brad and I had a great relationship. I had a lot of good times with him. But, we drifted apart and that’s okay. I will always look back on that relationship and remember all the fun I had. That relationship was right for those young adult years of my life.
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Joey and I had our first real date the Saturday after I broke up with Brad. Joey and I quickly feel in love with each other. Our relationship was new and exciting. I liked everything about him. He was all and more I wanted in a man, a husband, and a father to my children.
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Joey was a virgin when I met him. I ended up taking his virginity. After two years together, I know that Joey is the one (I knew very early actually). No doubt about it. He is this amazing guy, and all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with him. But, every once in a while I start to feel guilty. I’ve had sex with two men. Joey has only had sex with me. I wish he were the guy that took my virginity. I wish the two of us got to share that initial experience together. But we didn’t. I don’t
necessarily regret losing my virginity to Brad. It was right for that time in my life. But I hate that Joey knows that I have had sex with someone else. I will always be the one in the relationship that experienced this close intimacy with someone else. I wish Joey and I were the only ones who experienced those amazing feelings- when you connect with a person sexually, and emotionally- together. Unfortunately I had experienced some form of those feelings before, with another man.
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I just need to remember that this is the way things are. I can’t change the past. All I can do is move forward and continually show Joey how much he means to me.
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* Names were changed
