Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Relationship Breakdown: The Fling, The Temp & The Stable

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at NCSU chapter.
It’s no secret that relationshipsIt’s no secret that relationships in Hollywood are pretty outrageous these days. We all know of
It’s no secret that relationships in Hollywood are pretty outrageous these days. We all know of the cliché “one night stands” and the “happily ever after’s” that Hollywood throws at us everywhere
we turn, but we never seem to think of day to day relationships as predictable. If we take a closer
look at the type of relationships that we form, it might become obvious that there are some pretty
simple clichés here as well. In fact, it’s almost safe to say that relationships all fall into the same type of predictable patterns when broken down to their core elements. All, of course, with its own set of pros
and cons.

 
The FLING:

 

We have all heard of (if not experienced) that one night fling with what’s his/her face from the

party. These relationships (or perhaps hook-ups) are built up on a whim and seem to begin for only one
purpose: to satisfy the desires of (hopefully) all parties involved.

“That one person you met at the party” hook-up is an example of “The Fling”. Typically, no

matter how the hook-up initiated, it almost always comes with an unspoken “no strings attached”
contract that allows flexibility and, above all, freedom from the standard emotional expectations that
may be involved in an “official” relationship. 

Whether it’s a loose weekend in Cancun, or a weekly visit from the “friend-with-benefits”, the occurrence of a fling is typically sacred amongst the ladies and relatively vague amongst the fellas. When all’s said and done though, the fling is probably the most common type of hook-up amongst the relatively promiscuous college student.


 
Pros
– No strings attached
– Quick and easy fix for those “urges”
– Enables open experimentation with partners
– Allows for “fresh” experiences

 

Cons
– Never much substance afterwards
– Can easily damage ones societal image
– Prevents consistency or history
– Risk of occasional “Walk-of-Shame”

 

The TEMP:

 

Just imagine that the classic traits of summer littering the air: the potent flagrance of flowers
blooming, the innocent chirps of baby chicks calling for their mother, and that feeling that no matter
what happens, Little Johnny/Suzy down the street belongs to you for an entire summer.

The summer romance is essentially the definition of “the temporary” relationship. In These

types of relationships, all involved parties have invested emotional “capitol” in one another with the
expectation that nothing in the world will ever tear them apart. Longtime friendship is usually the
source of “The Temporary” relationship as feelings, both physical and emotional, are almost always
based on history. 

The main catch with “The Temporary” relationship is that it’s temporary. As redundant as mentioning this may sound, it must be stated for emphasis. Reasons for this could include anything from a lack of true commitment to a relationship, or even a simple “I’m only here for the summer.” Either way, “The Temporary” relationship almost always ends with harsh feelings and potentially severed bonds.


 
Pros
– A nice sense of consistency
– Extended period of emotional involvement
– Enjoyable romantic expressions of love
– Person to confide in

 

Cons
– Usually takes time to establish
– May end w/ some hard feelings
– Potentially sever future friendship bonds
– Sometimes hard to recover from

 
The STABLE:

 
Of all the relationship types that have been mentioned so far, “the stable” will probably be the
vaguest sounding one. “The stable” relationships are typically the source of long time marriages where both partners accept one another for who they are and work through the inevitable discrepancies that litter any type of relationship. 

Simply put, “finding the one” is an excellent example of “The Stable.” Probably the most

important (and somewhat obvious) aspect of “The Stable” is that both sides are almost 100% required
to commit fully to one another. This alone implies that there need to be both an emotional and time
investment in order for the relationship to maintain its supposed strong foundation. Unlike “The
Temporary,” however, there is not really a reliance on history, but more so time and patience.

“The Stable” type of relationship typically assumes the position of “happily ever after” and is the

long term relationship that we all look to form one day with that special someone. These relationships
usually last a significant amount of time (give or take a few 3 year engagements), and all involved parties are usually willing to put in the required work to help maintain them. “The Stable” is almost always qualified on a sense of emotional involvement as opposed strictly physical interaction. This is the major factor that separates it from the other mentioned relationship types.

 
Pros
– A nice sense of consistency
– Potential opportunity to settle down
– Guaranteed source of confidence
– Develop knowledge of partners “preferences”

 

Cons
– Time intensive
– Large requirement for commitment
– Potential “bed death”
– Potential for cycle of break-up/make-up
 
 
Of course none of the relationship types mentioned are anywhere near carved in stone as there
are many nuances that exist in a relationship that are not being considered. It could be the case that
the weekend that the weekend spent in Cancun bore a relationship that eventually became stable and
life was great afterword’s, but that’s besides the general assumptions that were made in this article. The three most common types of relationships that are prevalent through life are “The Fling”, “The Temporary”, and “The Stable”; especially during the college years of our lives where we are practically expected to have gone through all three of these stages by our senior year. 

Love and relationships are unpredictable, and can be a pain to deal with, but in the end, we can’t get enough of it. Whether it’s that one evening that you’ll never forget, or those two words that bind you with your significant other until the end of time; relationships always seem to give us that

much needed rush of purpose and passion that we would probably go crazy without.
much needed rush of purpose and passion that we would probably go crazy without. in Hollywood are pretty outrageous these days. We all know of
 
the cliché “one night stands” and the “happily ever after’s” that Hollywood throws at us everywhere
 
we turn, but we never seem to think of day to day relationships as predictable. If we take a closer
 
look at the type of relationships that we form, it might become obvious that there are some pretty
 
simple clichés here as well. In fact, it’s almost safe to say that relationships all fall into the same type of
 
predictable patterns when broken down to their core elements. All, of course, with its own set of pros
 
and cons.
 
—————————-The Fling———————————–
 
We have all heard of (if not experienced) that one night fling with what’s his/her face from the
 
party. These relationships (or perhaps hook-ups) are built up on a whim and seem to begin for only one
 
purpose: to satisfy the desires of (hopefully) all parties involved.
 
“That one person you met at the party” hook-up is an example of “The Fling”. Typically, no
 
matter how the hook-up initiated, it almost always comes with an unspoken “No strings attached”
 
contract that allows flexibility and, above all, freedom from the standard emotional expectations that
 
may be involved in an “Official” relationship.
 
Whether it’s a loose weekend in Cancun, or a weekly visit from the “friend-with-benefits”,
 
the occurrence of a fling is typically sacred amongst the ladies and relatively vague amongst the fellas.
 
When all’s said and done though, the fling is probably the most common type of hook-up amongst the
 
relatively promiscuous college student.
 
Name: Dequan Powell
Year: Sophmore
Major: Civil Engineering
Article Title: The Fling, The Temp, and The Stable
– No strings attached
– Quick and easy fix for those “urges”
– Enables open experimentation with partners
– Allows for “fresh” experiences
Cons
– Never much substance afterwards
– Can easily damage ones societal image
– Prevents consistency or history
– Risk of occasional “Walk-of-Shame”
 
——————-The Temporary————————
 
Just imagine that the classic traits of summer littering the air: the potent flagrance of flowers
 
blooming, the innocent chirps of baby chicks calling for their mother, and that feeling that no matter
 
what happens, Little Johnny/Suzy down the street belongs to you for an entire summer.
 
The summer romance is essentially the definition of “the temporary” relationship. In These
 
types of relationships, all involved parties have invested emotional “capitol” in one another with the
 
expectation that nothing in the world will ever tear them apart. Longtime friendship is usually the
 
source of “The Temporary” relationship as feelings, both physical and emotional, are almost always
 
based on history.
 
The main catch with “The Temporary” relationship is that it’s temporary. As redundant as
 
mentioning this may sound, it must be stated for emphasis. Reasons for this could include anything from
 
a lack of true commitment to a relationship, or even a simple “I’m only here for the summer.” Either
 
way, “The Temporary” relationship almost always ends with harsh feelings and potentially severed
 
Name: Dequan Powell
Year: Sophmore
Major: Civil Engineering
Article Title: The Fling, The Temp, and The Stable
bonds.
 
Pros
– A nice sense of consistency
– Extended period of emotional involvement
– Enjoyable romantic expressions of love
– Person to confide in
Cons
– Usually takes time to establish
– May end w/ some hard feelings
– Potentially sever future friendship bonds
– Sometimes hard to recover from
 
————————–The Stable———————-
 
Of all the relationship types that have been mentioned so far, “the stable” will probably be the
 
vaguest sounding one. “The stable” relationships are typically the source of long time marriages where
 
both partners accept one another for who they are and work through the inevitable discrepancies that
 
litter any type of relationship.
 
Simply put, “Finding the one” is an excellent example of “The Stable.” Probably the most
 
important (and somewhat obvious) aspect of “The Stable” is that both sides are almost 100% required
 
to commit fully to one another. This alone implies that there need to be both an emotional and time
 
investment in order for the relationship to maintain its supposed strong foundation. Unlike “The
 
Temporary,” however, there is not really a reliance on history, but more so time and patience.
 
“The Stable” type of relationship typically assumes the position of “happily ever after” and is the
 
long term relationship that we all look to form one day with that special someone. These relationships
 
usually last a significant amount of time (give or take a few 3 year engagements), and all involved parties
 
Name: Dequan Powell
Year: Sophmore
Major: Civil Engineering
Article Title: The Fling, The Temp, and The Stable
are usually willing to put in the required work to help maintain them. “The Stable” is almost always
 
qualified on a sense of emotional involvement as opposed strictly physical interaction. This is the major
 
factor that separates it from the other mentioned relationship types.
 
Pros
– A nice sense of consistency
– Potential opportunity to settle down
– Guaranteed source of confidence
– Develop knowledge of partners “preferences”
Cons
– Time intensive
– Large requirement for commitment
– Potential “bed death”
– Potential for cycle of break-up/make-up
 
Writers closing comments
 
Of course none of the relationship types mentioned are anywhere near carved in stone as there
 
are many nuances that exist in a relationship that are not being considered. It could be the case that
 
the weekend that the weekend spent in Cancun bore a relationship that eventually became stable and
 
life was great afterword’s, but that’s besides the general assumptions that were made in this article.
 
The three most common types of relationships that are prevalent through life are “The Fling”, “The
 
Temporary”, and “The Stable”; especially during the college years of our lives where we are practically
 
expected to have gone through all three of these stages by our senior year.
 
Love and relationships are unpredictable, and can be a pain to deal with, but in the end, we
 
can’t get enough of it. Whether it’s that one evening that you’ll never forget, or those two words that
 
bind you with your significant other until the end of time; relationships always seem to give us that
 
Name: Dequan Powell
Year: Sophmore
Major: Civil Engineering
Article Title: The Fling, The Temp, and The Stable
much needed rush of purpose and passion that we would probably go crazy without.
Campus Correspondent and Founder of Her Campus NCSU - kristiedemers@hercampus.com Kristie Demers is a Senior English major at North Carolina State University. When she isn't studying or busy working on campus, Kristie enjoys running, writing, reading, photography, and painting. She volunteered as an athletic trainer for the Cheerleading team freshman year and developed an unwavering devotion for the Wolfpack. This Wisconsin natives passions include traveling, spending time with family and friends, and loving even the little things in life. Although she is down to earth and loves making people smile, Kristie is hard working and welcomes challenges. All that this happy-go-lucky girl dreams for the future is to write for a magazine and live at the beach. In the meantime, her heart lies in the bricks at N.C. State and beats with every chime of the Bell Tower!