February is the month for those in relationships. With Valentine’s Day being celebrated on the 14th, society capitalizes on the opportunity to celebrate love. For those who are single or in futile situationships, February is just another lonely month. As someone who has been single for my whole life, the only Valentine’s Day presents I have ever received are from my mom.
I used to wait for my time to come, when I would have a special person to get me flowers and a stale box of chocolates. The hopeless romantic part of me still yearns for this, but I have realized that I just want validation from someone else. I could easily get myself flowers and chocolates for Valentine’s day, any day for that matter. Something I am continuing to realize as I get older is that love is more than celebrating a date on a calendar.
One of my goals for 2024 is to be okay with myself. Focusing on my relationship with myself and doing things that make me feel fulfilled. For the month of February and beyond, I am striving to be okay with being single.
Changing my Mindset
Many see being single as being lonely. The way I see it is that I have more time for myself. I don’t have to be tied down to someone else and have to worry about another person to fulfill my wants and needs. I also don’t want to force myself into a relationship I don’t want just because I feel societal pressure to be dating.
I am almost 20 years old and I have never been in a relationship. Most people at this age probably have been in a relationship before if not currently. I don’t need a relationship right now because I would rather wait for someone who meets my standards then settle just because I feel like I have to date someone.
So, my mindset when it comes to relationships is that it will fall into place eventually. To find meaningful relationships, means doing work on yourself first and then having a relationship when you are ready.
End the Comparisons
It can feel a little discouraging when it seems like everybody else is in a relationship but you. Something to keep in mind is that you don’t know the ins and outs of someone else’s relationship. It never really occurred to me until one of my friends told me she was planning on breaking up with her boyfriend. I never knew they had problems in their relationship until she came to me.
Comparing myself to her relationship is just plain unfair considering the issues that she was going through with her boyfriend. I wouldn’t want that for myself and that helped me to feel better about being single.
When one of my friends entered a new relationship last year, I was so happy for her. She never knew that she could find someone like the guy she was dating. That moment made me realize that I can wait to find somebody that meets my standards, because I will find it eventually. And no, my standards are not too high.
Finding the meaning in other relationships
Romantic relationships are not the only relationships humans can hold. You have family members and friends that you can connect with instead. I personally would rather hang out with my parents than anybody else in the world. My dog is also included in that sentiment.
I also love going out with my friends. Why would I want to go out with just one person, when I can go out with multiple friends who are going to hype me up the whole time?
Finding Myself
Not being involved with someone else gives me more time to find myself. I am a big believer in making yourself happy before someone else makes you happy. I also am someone who tends to overwork themselves, leaving little time for fun things in my life. The weekends are a good time to recharge and do activities that will fulfill you. I love going for long walks as well as reading. You can also go out of your comfort zone and do something you have never done before like kayaking (couldn’t be me, but you do you). With this also comes reflection about what you really want in life.
Celebrating Myself
With finding yourself, you should also celebrate/love yourself. Taking yourself out on dates and nights of self-care are celebrations of you. You don’t need a partner to go out on dates or to treat yourself. Celebrating myself has given a boost to my mental health and self-esteem. I also tend to forget to put myself first sometimes, which I do by treating myself. I find myself to be more mindful while celebrating myself and other things I wouldn’t usually think too much about.
Overall, being single is underrated. There are so many things you can do while being single and it provides a ton of freedom. Sometimes it can get lonely to not be with someone but there are so many ways to find fulfillment in life. Don’t let society pressure you to be in a relationship you don’t necessarily want. Being okay with being single means being okay with yourself.