February 14th, Valentine’s Day. What is this holiday truly about: receiving roses and chocolate, being wined and dined by a special someone? These actions seem trivial to many and we often expect others to do these things for us. To take us out on a date, to pay for our meal, to open our doors, to make us feel special. But what if we took control, what if we took initiative, to date ourselves?
You may think this sounds foolish or counterintuitive. Why would you take yourself on a date when someone else could??? When you are with a partner, you can be given validation, fulfillment, and love. Eventually, some people become caught in a cycle of relying on others to meet these needs and forget how to be independent, self-empowered individuals. We become addicted to this attention, submerged and infatuated with waves of admiration. However, it takes one second for people to flip the switch. One action, for this all to stop. Then where does that leave you: confused and lost.
I’m sure that many of us have been caught in this situation. But I am here to tell you that you don’t have to be! Take this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to not turn to the next chapter, but to start a whole new book. This seems intangible, but it is more attainable than perceived.
Here is where it all began for me: during quarantine I focused on getting active, being mindful, and having fun. It is important that you set out tactical ways that can lead you to self-love. The hardest part for me was being mindful. I worked on confronting my thoughts, and worries and began to write it all down. This helped me unpack and understand what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. This allowed me to center in on what I wanted for myself and gave me the power to pat myself on the back for what I was achieving and made me more comfortable with doing things for myself.
Understanding yourself is the key to self-love. Accept your flaws, imperfections, and fears and emphasize your accomplishments, confidence, and beauty, both inside and out.
The only thing in life that we can control are our own actions and reactions. Do not let other people define the type of person that you are. As soon as you do that, you lose all of your internal power and any prospect of self-validation. So stand up, show up and keep growing for yourself, not for anyone else. This journey is filled with roadblocks, hiccups, and failures but if you keep pushing forward, you can reach the peak of self-love, and master the art of dating yourself.