How to Determine If Your Roommate Is a Nutcase

There are two outcomes for those who choose to do random selection for roommate assignments. In outcome #1, your roommate is the butter to your popcorn, the highlight to your cheekbones, the peanut butter to your jelly, and your perfect compliment in every way. Not only will they mirror the characteristics that you have, but they will enhance you! There are no fights  over the cleanliness of the room, sharing items is a breeze, and instantly, you have a best friend before the start of classes!

It’s fate!

It’s destiny!

It’s also...

a fairytale.

I don’t know if twenty-one years of life gives me enough time to call myself an expert in the system that decides who your roommate will be, but I can tell you this: In all those years, I have only seen one instance of a perfectly assigned roommate. And even that one wasn’t completely butterflies and rainbows.

In my research, I have concluded that the reason most people aren’t happy with their randomly assigned roommate is directly correlated with the type of questions the university asks. Honestly, knowing a random person’s major as well as if they listen to music loudly and if they are a morning person is not enough! Colleges do better! I am talking investigative journalistic questions like:  Is your name Brianna Brochu, and are you planning on torturing your roommate to fulfill your racist agenda? (Confused? Look up Jazzy Rowe on the internet and prepare to be shook.)

Just kidding! (not really)

Maybe if these questions were asked, we wouldn’t have outcome #2 of the random selection roommate process; which is: you and your roommate won’t get along. OBVIOUSLY, Jazzy Rowe’s story is an extreme case of outcome #2. The most you and your roommate should endure is a stern argument or two, or your roommate might leave a passive aggressive sticky note on the door. It's usually nothing you can’t handle if you've already set the ground rules on move-in day. Normally, it does not escalate to blood being rubbed on your backpack.

Brianna, I’m looking at you.

For this reason, a room to yourself is the optimal way to go; however, not everyone can afford that luxury. If this is you, and you suspect your roommate is a nutcase, your prayers have been answered!

Here a three roommate red flags that should make you wary.

1. Rule Breaking

The rules of the room should be set on move-in day. Some type of roommate agreement should be constructed to make sure both parties are happy. If, for example, you return to your room to find your roommate wearing an item of your clothing that you specifically said he/she was not allowed to borrow, there are two ways this scenario can go. You may confront your roommate and he/she may apologize rather profusely, but sincerely, while immediately, handing you the item. If this occurs, you can accept the apology but also slit your eyes in suspicion and lock up your items from now on. If your roommate acts casual about the incident and insinuates that you are overreacting, you have a problem. Your roommate is clearly not willing to accept his/her role in the issue and this could in fact be a sign of craziness.

2. Inconsiderate Behavior

Staying in a room with another person means both you and your roommate must be accommodating. Neither you nor your roommate have to roll out the red carpet or bend the knee every time either of you enter the room, but you both have to be respectful. If you are sleeping and your roommate bursts through the door, turns on the light, and struts in with two other friends without a second thought of your current state, there is another problem. Your roommate could either notice you at the last minute, apologize, and retreat immediately, or he/she could continue invading the peace. This is just one example of inconsiderate behavior, and a clear indication of madness.

3. Silent Treatment

This one is difficult because you are completely at liberty to keep the conversation to a minimum, but if your roommate refuses to talk to you at all, it should make you slightly uneasy. Your roommate does not have to tell you his/her life story but if no words are exchanged, the atmosphere can be very uncomfortable and hostile. There is the possibility that your roommate is socially awkward, in which case, you are in the clear. Let’s say you ask your roommate a question and he/she looks at you with disdain or ignores you completely, and you did nothing to elicit this behavior. If this happens your roommate, more than likely, has issues.

If any of these behaviors are evident in your current roommate, you may have a Type 2 Brianna Brochu on your in hands, and your immediate response should be to flee. Your college experience should not be hindered by a crazy roommate, so save yourselves from a potential catastrophe and take the necessary precautions now.