I have to ask, where did this “boys and girls aint sh*t” mantra come from? I can’t be the only one that has noticed it on Twitter, and with Valentine’s Day coming right around the corner, I have to address this rivalry between the female and male gender.
While conducting my research, I had the opportunity to ask a few women why they specifically believe boys aren’t sh*t. Many have said that they’ve been hurt by a boy in past relationships, and because of that, they look at future boys subjectively. After asking a few boys the same question, I received a similar response. Some men feel that women do not see that men have feelings too, and that the after effects of “getting curved” are real. No man and no one in general wants to shoot the arrow of love just for it to be ricocheted right back.
(Note: Like every experiment there is always an outlier. We always have to question how the man approached the woman, as well as how the woman responded, but for the purpose of this experiment, I will have to address that at a later date.)
What I have discovered from this little investigation is that both men and women believe that the other gender is forever out to get them, thus in an effort to avoid disappointment and hurt, both genders fear the worst in each other. Rather than look at a new love objectively, I have observed that men and women judge and make assumptions before giving each other a chance.
Now, before you say something about the conclusion I have come to and disagree, let me say this: Women, I understand you may have been hurt before, therefore you put your guard up. You shield yourself and you may portray a hard exterior that could possibly seem intimidating.
Men, I understand that you may have been hurt as well. As a female, I do not want to play favorites. Believe me, (ugh I sound like Trump) women can be hard to approach sometimes. Even with all of those issues dividing the genders from opening their hearts, I still believe it is possible for both sexes to open their minds and give each other a break, rather than immediately resorting to the “aint sh*t” mantra.
Again, before I receive the clap back for saying both genders need to look at each other objectively, I need to state what I mean when I say “give each other a chance.” I do believe a chance should be given to both men and women; however (and this is a huge however) that does not mean you have to give every female and male a chance.
A chance is given to those with whom you feel you see yourself progressing with. If you do not see the relationship progressing, it is OK for both genders to be one hundred percent honest and let the other party know that it is not growing anywhere farther than a friendship.
Being friend zoned can hurt, but if it’s done nicely, being friend zoned can save a person from long term hurt and prevent the “aint sh*t” attitude. Being strung along for unacceptable purposes and then being dropped suddenly with no explanation will more than likely result in the “aint sh*t” attitude. Everyone makes mistakes, and unfortunately this can happen.
Ultimately the issue that I am trying to address is that even if you have been hurt, do not automatically think that the next person that comes into your life will hurt you again. I know that I just stated that like it is the easiest thing to do, but continuing to believe and promote that men aint sh*t and women aint shi*t will get you nowhere. If that is all we see on social media, eventually we will believe it.
Ladies, there are men (note I said men, not boys) that were raised with decency and a sense of propriety. Men, there are women (not girls) that carry themselves with poise and confidence. We can continue to hide behind the “aint sh*t” attitude or we can grow up and support each other.