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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Transitioning your relationship from Long Distance to Short Distance

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Nanyang Tech chapter.

When I first forayed into the magical world of relationship goals/advice/tips/etc… content online, I noticed that I saw one too many “making long distance work” and “going from an SDR to an LDR” articles and posts. But few were about going from an LDR to living in the same place. With pandemic regulations relaxing and borders opening globally, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone’s going from online to in-person dating.

While the reduction in  physical distance is something both parties in the relationship have been waiting for, for a long time, the excitement and the unfamiliarity of tangible closeness can make emotions heightened and things tricky. As a close outsider to one such relationship myself, I have learnt (albeit second-hand) how transitioning from hours apart to minutes apart can be enjoyable, empowering and strengthening.

For example, the sudden difference in communication can be scary. In an LDR, you don’t have to share everything happening in your life (where you went, who you went with, what you had for breakfast/lunch/dinner). In contrast, in an SDR, there’s usually more to be shared about your daily life. But that’s not something a conversation about what degree of space the other person desires, can’t solve. Having a conversation on shared or separate finances can also be vital since that wouldn’t be something normally discussed in an LDR.

Initially, it can be tempting to spend all your time together to make up for the time spent apart. But the key thing to remember is that you both had separate lives at one point in time, connected only by texts and calls. So, jumping very quickly into one life together may very quickly burst your bubble and things could come crashing down. This is why taking ‘me time’ is really important since it gives you time to rest, recalibrate and be with your own thoughts. For example, this ‘me time’ can come in the form of hanging out with your own individual friend(s). 

That being said, for some of us, it can also be hard to integrate someone else into your daily life. Both parties have gained a certain degree of independence and losing a bit of that  requires  adjusting. If you can’t quite find a place to fit your partner in, try including them while doing your daily routine. For example, fold your laundry or buy groceries together.

At the end of the day, striking the perfect balance between time together and apart, and between shared and separate activities, is a precarious tightrope to walk on, but one that will be  beneficial in the long-term. Lastly, most of  what I have shared are from my perspective, and may not be a ‘one size fits all’ solution for everyone. The best thing to do should you find yourself in such a situation is to do what feels best for your relationship.

Vedika Sharma

Nanyang Tech '24

Vedika is an Economics major at Nanyang Tech and a lover of all things cottage core. When not writing or working on academics, she can mostly be found sewing, watching trashy reality TV or gushing over Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She can hold hour-long conversations on intersectional feminism but can't pronounce Worcestershire.