What screams success more than being married, owning a property and having children? I could name many other things but unfortunately, this narrow idea of success has been moulded into our brains. Moreover, it is further fuelled through our consumption of media and its portrayal of the family unit. At family gatherings, your elders can’t help but bombard you with the “when are you getting married?” question and now all your friends are discussing their BTO plans with their partners. As Singaporeans, this standard template is what most accept as the norm but maybe it’s time we start questioning it.
How did this one-way path come about and why do we perceive it as an ideal? Through schemes implemented in Singapore, mainly married (or to be) couples are able to purchase a supposedly affordable BTO flat. With this, young couples don’t seem to have much of a choice but to get hitched in order to buy their first home. For the cherry on top — hopefully, these couples pop out some little ones to aid our ageing population. This game plan has obviously been very well thought out but unfortunately, it has also become the blueprint for a successful Singaporean.
But is this blueprint truly the best path for us? While a BTO flat may be the most affordable choice for the average Singaporean, this shoebox-sized property may just haunt you for the rest of your life. With its price ranging from around S$300,000 to the millions, these flats are estimated to take 30 years to be paid off. A large chunk of your life is spent paying off your debt, so is it truly as affordable as they claim to be? After purchasing your first home, the next natural step is to have children (according to the blueprint). Of course, having additions to the family means having more mouths to feed and with Singapore’s rising cost of living, this may be another financial burden on you. In an infographic done by SmartParents, the cost to raise one child in Singapore from pregnancy to their university education is at least S$670,000. The debts keep piling on and once you’ve finally paid them all off, you’re retired and more vulnerable to health issues than ever. This standard template only makes it possible to enjoy life when you are a senior citizen but isn’t that what our youth should be all about?
As a Singaporean in my 20s, I’m conditioned to think that the next natural step is to apply for a BTO flat with my partner but what if my idea of success is to live independently, travel the world and start my own business without ever getting married or having children? That’s where I start to question if my ‘obscure’ plans will only make life harder on me. Let’s list down the options to live an independent life away from your family home (before the age of 35) without getting married. One: renting a flat (and emptying my bank account from the high rent prices), two: purchasing a private property (which will be in the millions) and three: leaving the country (and being away from the rest of my family). These options kind of put me off, which only brings me back to square one — the blueprint.
This makes me wonder how the blueprint has affected our lives as individuals. Has it restricted us from trying new things and reaching our goals? Does it cause a lack of imagination and aspirations? Is the Singaporean life stale? Of course, I won’t disregard those who truly long for this life but I empathise with the ones who long for more. Unfortunately, I don’t have a sound solution to this dilemma.
Still, even though straying from the average path may seem daunting despite longing for something more, it’s comforting to know that there are Singaporeans out there who have torn up that blueprint and are still successful and thriving:
Martin & Jacinda – The Roadtripping Couple
In their 30s, Martin and Jacinda decided to leave their jobs to road trip around the world. Definitely not your average holiday, the couple bought a minivan to take them on land from Malaysia all the way to Portugal. They’ve planned to spend months travelling through different cities while living in their minivan.
“The world is so big! There are a million ways to do one thing, so why stick ourselves in a box! Keep an open mind and we’d be less judgmental, more willing to take risks to try something new and then start to learn more and do things differently.” – @mjroadtrippin
Brenda Tan – Moving Out At 22
After living on campus in her university hostel, Brenda could not see herself going back to her family home. Through hard work and smart financial planning, Brenda decided to rent her own place at just 22 years old. Branda shares why she decided to move out at such a young age and gives some financial tips on how to afford rent in Singapore on her Youtube channel.
“Being on my own has always been something that I was always looking forward to ever since I was a child” – Brenda Tan