In Singapore, most of the toilets we encounter are distinguished by the pink or blue signs, or if there’s a triangle or not. It’s rare, almost unheard of, to find an all-gender restroom.
So imagine my surprise when, on exchange, I entered a toilet to come face-to-face with a man. I apologised, of course, and entered the toilet. Then it hit me that I should maybe check the toilet sign again.
So I wasn’t wrong in entering the toilet, but my first encounter absolutely made an impression on me.
Shared toilets were often converted from either male or female toilets, and so the infrastructure from “before” often remained, like the coloured doors. This first toilet that I encountered had three cubicles, and one of them contained a urinal, which again caused me more shock — the only urinals I’ve encountered in toilets are the ones for children.
But because of how shared toilets are converted from how they were before, it also meant that I could enter a previously male toilet. I never thought about this, until it happened. I urgently needed the bathroom and ran into the nearest toilet I saw. As I entered the cubicle, it hit me that there were exposed urinals in this toilet (not hidden in a cubicle) and that the men washing their hands at the sink looked at me in — what I believed to be — surprise. In short, I was shook. I legitimately thought I misread the signs and entered the wrong toilet! But there I was in the cubicle, pants down and panicking. Hit with anxiety, all I could do was to finish up ASAP and get out.
However, as I was about to be done, I heard the toilet door opening accompanied by male voices. Once again, I was stunned and frozen. I had to recalibrate and think about what I should do. I didn’t even flush because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. By the time I got myself together, they were done and washing up. So I thought I should wait for a few minutes, then quickly flush, wash my hands and run out. Unfortunately, they were still at the sink, and I perceived them to be staring at me while I kept my head down to leave in a hurry. I rechecked the sign as I left just to make sure I didn’t accidentally trespass, and yes, it was a shared toilet, but I was just in such a stressful situation.
All-gender restrooms are controversial for a multitude of reasons, but I think to make the shift to all-gender restrooms to be more inclusive and safe for everyone, we should advocate for all toilets and urinals to be encapsulated in separated cubicles, and the sinks to be located in a public area outside of the cubicles. This model would be adapting accessible toilets to be more resource-savvy (in terms of the sinks). By aiming for a more inclusive society, people who are excluded by the gender binary and able-bodied binary can all feel safe and have access to resources required for everyday living.
Ultimately, I think these restrooms are the way to go to be more inclusive (and energy-saving) — besides, think of how we can potentially avoid shorter queues in the ladies’ room!