Dear 16-year-old me,
First of all, it gets better.
This uncertainty, this feeling of needing to keep up with this image you’ve created won’t last forever.
The feeling of needing to prove yourself to people, it won’t last forever.
There’s life on the other side of high school, plenty of it, trust me. It’s beautiful and babe, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but everything will work out, I’m here and we’re doing just fine, so don’t get caught up in the now or the drama of today because what you’re wasting your energy on right now, will most likely fall into the abyss of your memory. Instead, intentionally focus on things that will make you better.
It’s important to recognize that everyone’s high school experiences are different, but there are a lot of things that connect us as well.
Be yourself, even if you’re not sure who that is yet.
This is exactly what this part of your life is for, finding out, making mistakes, learning from them and growing from them. Quit expecting things to be perfect and comparing your life to those around you. Trying to figure yourself out is hard enough, but living among a generation that is solely based on social media makes it even harder to do so. So don’t look to your right or left, stay on your path even if you don’t know where you are going because at least it is your own. You will figure it out, but make sure not to create the habit of following those who go before you because then that is all you will ever do. Now is the time to learn and grow. Try new things and spend time getting to know yourself. This is a season you will not get back, so cherish it and learn from it.
Quit body shaming yourself.
You’re not fat, you are not ugly. Kill every voice inside your head that won’t let you live, that won’t let you smile, that won’t let you pursue. Quit being embarrassed of yourself and choose to live. Choose to be liberated as the person you are and unapologetically chase happiness. A lot of the things that stand in your way are your own insecurities and they come from things you’ve been told and things you tell yourself, but you determine your route and you determine your happiness. No matter what they tell you, no matter what remarks are made you are worthy of love and happiness. You are so defeated by the negative things you tell yourself, imagine how liberated you would be if you started believing the positive.
Fight for yourself.
The boy you have fallen so head over heels in love with will probably not matter in a couple of years. Granted, there are special cases where high school relationships last forever, but it shouldn’t take away from your experiences or time with your friends and believe it or not, you can live without him. Absolutely. Whatever heartbreak you’re going through or have yet to go through, there are things to be learned and only happiness on the other side. As you learn about yourself, learn who is worthy of your time and do not give it to anyone who does not deem you valuable.
Just enjoy this stage of life!
Like I said before, this will not last forever. Everything you hate about high school will pass when this season of your life ends, but so will everything that you love. So take the good with the bad and soak up every step you take onto the court, every step you take down that hallway, every laugh at the lunch table, every victory you celebrate on those Friday nights. These are moments you won’t get back and these are the friendships that will come to know distance.
Most people, if given the chance would never want to revisit high school, but most would say they would have done it differently having known what they know now. Here is what they wish they could go back and tell themselves:
“Don’t cry about that, you’re eyes are too pretty.” “Sometimes you’ll have to cut people off to make yourself better. That doesn’t mean you love them any less. It means you love yourself more.” “He ain’t shit.” “You’re not fat.” “It gets better..” “Don’t stress about things you cannot change!” “Sprinkle kindness like confetti” “You can do more than you believe you can” “You’re parents actually do know what they’re talking about!” “Trust God’s plan.” “Partying like a wild animal ain’t cute, sis. Neither is that guy.” “Don’t care what others think” “School is so important! Take your classes seriously!” “You gotta do what makes YOU happy because at the end of the day it’s on YOU!” “Don’t base your life decisions on a boy, because chances are that he won’t be around long enough to even see those decisions play out.”
Thumbnail photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash