Here in college, your sexuality is something that you need to own. It is okay to participate in what is called hookup culture. Unfortunately, there always seems to be this stigma against college women participating in this culture. It is seen as unbecoming for a girl to have multiple partners without getting into a relationship. This, unfortunately, prevents us all from experimenting and exploring our sexuality.
Of course, we all know that there is nothing wrong with not participating in hookups. There are quite a few people who would rather try and find a meaningful relationship than have multiple partners. I applaud these people for having such a strong will to remain abstinent and wait for someone, but there is also the chance that they are missing out on the chance to fully explore their sexuality.
So Why College?
College provides the chance to meet a wide array of people from varying different backgrounds. Some people have already explored some of their sexuality, so they have a pretty good idea of what they are looking for. There are others, however, who are still going through trial and error in figuring out what is right for them. Additionally, there is also a chance to really figure out your sexuality– whether you are straight, asexual, gay, bisexual– there is an entire spectrum of sexual orientations out there that you are opened up to while in college. Either way, it is important to figure out what you like and become the boss of your sexuality.
Why Should You Hookup in the First Place?
Hookups can be the perfect time to experiment with your sexuality. You can just try and figure out if you are interested in guys or girls, but you can even be bold to try new things. After all, you will never know what you like until you try it. The ultimate goal of a hookup is to compare each experience and see what worked for you and what did not. Were there things that made you question whether this was something you wanted to do in the future? Was there a type of person that you are more attracted to in terms of physicality and personality? There are essentially a multitude of categories that you may be trying to check off on this little list you have. What this should lead to is a little formula for what would be the ideal experience.
Once you have that formula, you will be able to become more confident in vocalizing what you want your partner to do, and you will be able to feel like you have the ultimate control of your sexuality. Being a woman, that feeling of control in the bedroom, especially when dealing with a guy, is exhilarating.
I know that there are going to be several people who view hookup culture as degrading and below them. It’s not for everyone. However, hookups can be a great way to meet new people and learn to control your sexuality. Ladies out there, it is time to take control! Figuring yourself out and what you want is nothing to be ashamed about. I am in no way suggesting that you go out there and hookup with a different person every single night, but hooking up with a few different people ever so often will give you the experience that you may need. Eventually, when we all find our future partners and settle down, I am sure that you will feel completely confident and vocalize those needs rather than being silent.
Your sexuality is yours for a reason. It is yours to experiment with as you please. It is okay to be with multiple people or no people at all. No one should judge you for trying to figure yourself out.
Girl Code: Own your sexuality, and let the opinions of others go in one ear and out the other. Chances are you will probably be getting better partners and sex than they ever will.