I’ll just say it. I am obsessed with boyfriends exes. I have to know everything about them. I need to know what she looks like, what she does and I need to know how pretty she is. I will literally go on their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and will look at their pictures and scroll back as far as I can and see if she still has pictures of my boyfriend on there. I really just cannot stand exes. But such is life that we must deal with them.
How to deal with an ex?
Exes can be a complicated thing. Sometimes they are still obsessed with your boyfriend and want to get back together with them. Then there are the exes that are still friends with your boyfriends, and that can be a problem all in itself. The best thing to do in these types of situations is communicate with your SO. Communication is key in any type of relationship, so if you do not communicate with your boyfriend that you are feeling this way about their ex they aren’t going to know. Also, most guys are clueless so you kind of have to spell it out for them in terms that they can understand.
Additionally, there are times where you may have to confront that ex because they are getting a little too close for comfort. My advice, do not engage and just keep a chill persona. They are trying to make you mad. That is probably the whole reason why she came out of her little hole in the first place. Just keep the conversation simple and let her know that your boyfriend has obviously moved on.
The only time to really engage the ex is when she becomes like a little fly that no matter how many times you shoo it away it just keeps coming back. This is when you need to put your foot down and let her know that she is no longer welcome around you or your boyfriend. I for one hate confrontation, but it also shows your boyfriend that you are willing to stand your ground to remain with him. Sometimes a guy really just wants to sit back and watch the show, but others want to see how far their girlfriend is willing to go for him. Again, communication is key here because if you do not express yourself, you may end up losing your boyfriend to the Wicked Witch of the West.
Things to Keep in Mind
Your boyfriend’s ex is called an ex for a reason. The relationship between those two ended because maybe she cheated, or was too clingy, or smelled bad, or a whole lot of other reasons. Either way, they ended what they had between them and she shouldn’t be coming back anytime soon.
You know I love how I am giving this advice, but I will literally go psychotic and I will not take my own Girl Code advice when I see my boyfriends ex. I’m just watching her, like a hawk, and daring her to make a move.
Girl Code: Try and communicate with your boyfriend about your feelings regarding their ex because they might think that you guys will get along just fine even if you wish that she somehow managed to die in a small fender bender. Either way, it sucks to deal with them.