We all that have one girl friend – the one that makes everything a competition, the one that makes every situation about her, the one that always has an excuse not to help you. Well if you have a friend that has these qualities, break up with her! Breaking up with a friend can be hard, trust me, but sometimes you just have to let that toxicity go.
I had a friend that had all of these qualities, but I looked past them for months. We would have fun together so I decided that the bad qualities didn’t matter. We would go to parties, have photo shoots and just chill at home together. I never thought that someone I had so much fun with could be so toxic for me. I really thought that things would get better as time went on but I could not have been more wrong.
I changed so much in those few months. I became so worried about my appearances and what people were always thinking about me because of her. I never felt pretty enough when I was around her. She was always so focused on what she needed to work on physically and it passed on to me as well. I started hitting the gym and when I tell her my accomplishments she would always have to one up me, instead of just being proud of me. Instagram turned into a silent war between us. If I posted a picture then she did the same and would comment about how many more likes she had than me. This really started to take a toll on my self confidence. Why couldn’t I be as “pretty” as her? Well the truth is I WAS as pretty as her. Do not compare yourself to your friends, ladies! Remember that any girl friend of yours should help boost your self confidence, not tear it down.
(photo courtesy of Joshua Sazon on Unsplash)
You should always feel like you are able to open up to your friends. However, I did not always feel that way with her. If I did talk to her about a serious situation she would listen for a little bit, but then she would start to daze off. She was not really interested. Then, it was all about her. Instead of me being able to get the advice or kind words I needed, she turned it to her situation and how hers was “far worse” than mine. There were so many times when I did not receive what I needed, but I was always expected to be there for her and have answers for her. Your friends should NEVER make you feel like your situation is not as important. A true friend will listen, be interested and help, just like you do for her. A friendship is truly like a relationship and there is always give and take.
A friend should always be considerate of you and what is going on in your life. If you have an exam, she should offer to help you study, not throw a party with her friends until 1 am on a Tuesday night. Your girls should be there for you through all of the ups and downs, not just the ups. Think about it like a relationship. If your girl friend had a boyfriend and he had any of these qualities, what would you tell her to do? You would tell her that he was toxic and to drop him! Do not be afraid to do the same with your girl friends. I miss my best friend sometimes, but in the end, this was the best thing I could have done for myself.