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MUJ | Wellness > Mental Health

They want to be there. Let them.

Divyanshu Bhardwaj Student Contributor, Manipal University Jaipur
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MUJ chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Hey, can we talk about something that’s been on my mind lately? 

Do you ever feel like you’re just too much for people? Like you have a million things on your mind, but the last thing you want to do is dump it all on your friends? I get it. Trust me, I do. There’s this constant battle in your head: “I don’t want to be annoying. I don’t want to be a burden. They’ve got their own problems-why should I add to them?” So, you sit with it. You swallow it down. You tell yourself you can handle it alone because you always do. Because that’s just how you operate, right?

But that’s bullshit. And you know it.

Somewhere along the way, we got it in our heads that being there for people is a one-way street. That we can listen, we can help, we can show up for them, but when it comes to us? Nope. Suddenly, the rules change. Suddenly, our problems are ‘too much’ or ‘not important enough’ or ‘something we should be able to deal with on our own.’ And that’s exhausting.

I want you to sit with this for a second: Would you ever think your friend was a burden if they came to you needing support? If they just wanted to vent, to cry, to say, “Hey, I feel like shit, and I need someone to tell me it’s going to be okay”? Of course not. If anything, you’d want them to come to you. You’d want to help. That’s what friendship is. It’s not just about the fun times. It’s about being there, even when things aren’t pretty. Especially when they aren’t pretty.

So why do we think we’re the exception? Why do we believe that when it comes to us, our problems are too heavy, our emotions too messy, our struggles too insignificant?

Woman Holding Phone Sitting On Sofa
Photo by Craig Adderley from Pexles

Maybe it’s because we’ve been let down before. Maybe we’ve been met with silence when we reached out. Or maybe we’ve been conditioned to think that our worth is tied to how little we ask for, how much we can handle alone. Maybe it’s just fear—fear that if we let people see us in our most vulnerable, unfiltered, and unpolished state, they’ll decide we’re not worth it.

And this whole “I don’t want to be an inconvenience” thing? It’s not just about asking for help. It’s about everything. Not wanting to suggest plans because you think they might be busy. Not sharing your problems because you don’t want to “bring them down”. Hell, I have even heard of people apologizing to their therapists for “rambling”—like, that’s literally what they’re there for!

This attitude isn’t just hurting you. It’s hurting your friendships too. When you constantly hold back, you’re not allowing your relationships to grow deeper. You’re keeping things surface-level, and that’s not what true friendship is about. It’s about being real, being vulnerable, and yes, sometimes being an “inconvenience”.

Your real friends don’t just want the “I’m fine” version of you. They want the real you, even when that means sitting in silence, even when that means crying over something that doesn’t even make sense, even when that means talking about the same problem for the hundredth time because you still don’t have the answer. That’s what they signed up for. And if they didn’t? Well, then they were never really your friends in the first place.

I know it’s hard. I know that the urge to keep it all inside is so deeply ingrained that reaching out feels unnatural. But let me ask you this. What’s the worst that could happen? Your friend listens? They offer support? They remind you that you’re not alone? That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

And if someone makes you feel like you’re too much? That’s not a reflection of you; that’s a reflection of them. Real friends make space. Real friends show up. Real friends make you feel lighter, not heavier.

So stop trying to be this perfect, self-sufficient island and start being real with your friends. Ask for help when you need it, share your struggles, and yes, sometimes be an inconvenience. Because that’s how we build those deep, meaningful friendships that make life worth living.

The next time you catch yourself hesitating to send that text, to make that call, to say, “Hey, can we talk?” remember this: You are not an inconvenience. You are not a burden. You are a human being who deserves support just as much as you give it. And the people who truly care about you? They’ll remind you of that every time.

Now go text your friend. They’d want to hear from you.

Loved this piece? There’s more at Her Campus at MUJ :)

Divyanshu Bhardwaj

MUJ '27

Divyanshu is a CS undergrad at Manipal University Jaipur and the Editor in Chief of Her Campus MUJ. His writing explores the complexities of modern life, tackling everything from digital culture and social justice to personal identity and human connection. Whether he's challenging apathy, dissecting pop culture, or reflecting on the everyday joys and struggles of young adulthood, his articles spark conversations that matter.

Beyond Her Campus, Divyanshu is deeply invested in creating spaces — both in writing and through events — that foster understanding and empowerment. A self-proclaimed sitcom enthusiast and coursework procrastinator (who always meets deadlines), his life is fuelled by music, pop culture, and doomscrolling on Twitter.

When he’s not writing or organizing events, you’ll find him analysing internet trends, advocating for inclusivity, or losing himself in yet another existential debate. His goal? To make an impact, one story at a time.