As soon as you step into college, it feels like you’ve been let out of a cage and handed a VIP pass to freedom. Especially if you’re from a small town, strict parents, or girl don’t even ask, if you went to an all-girls convent school. For some of us, this might be our first time chatting or being in relationships with boys without permission slips or surveillance. Trust me, I feel you.
And then, you’re suddenly exposed to all kinds of boys. Now, you’ve got two choices. Either you’re going to be that smart, confident queen who knows what she wants and enters into a refreshing, healthy relationship, or you’re going to be an emotionally starved soul, falling for someone who looks like a failed science experiment but plays the sympathy card like a pro.
Now we all know that men are top-level manipulators. They’ll play victim like it’s a competitive sport. My toxic ex? Oh, don’t ask. He told me his dad poisoned him, flipped his uncle’s car down a hill, and pushed his grandfather down the stairs. And guess what? Me, being the emotional fool I am, believed him and got attached. Two weeks later, I dumped him; because my gut knew this queen deserved better, and I wasn’t about to settle for a sob story.
So, to all my girlies at MUJ and beyond, here are some red flags that scream run, run for your life louder than a final exam panic attack:
🚩 He’s always playing the victim
Girl, if he’s constantly crying over his “bad luck,” sobbing about how his ex left him heartbroken even though he was ready to give her seven lives, and tells you you’re the only girl he talks to or opens up to; red flag alert! He’s fake. Sad stories might feel tempting to sympathise with, but trust me, boys like that are emotional manipulators who know exactly how to pull at your heartstrings. We’re kind; we fall for empathy, and that’s exactly why they’re good at trapping us. Leave him before you’re stuck carrying someone else’s sob story.
🚩 You’re emotionally dependent
If you’re constantly checking in, asking for validation, or sharing every little detail about your personal life, even stuff your mom shouldn’t know, you’re handing your power away. Girl, your man doesn’t even shave every week, and you’re wondering if your skin tone is fair enough? Or your acne is ugly? Come on. Emotional dependence is the fastest way to lose yourself in someone else’s chaos.
🚩 It’s only physical, no emotional connection
If your guy only shows up when he wants to make out behind the dome or take you to Highway King for hickeys, and disappears after, that’s a red flag wearing a cute hoodie. Physical fun is fine, but if you’re the only one emotionally invested, he’s just using you for entertainment. And let’s not pretend MUJ boys are known for their emotional availability. Run, girl. Run fast.
🚩 Spoiled rich kid with zero ambition
If he’s the rich dad’s brat with five black dots and a 3.0 GPA, he probably doesn’t care about his future, and he won’t care about yours either. A guy who spends more time at Highland and Baba ki Thadi than in class isn’t serious about life, and serious people make serious partners. Leave him and find someone passionate about their career and you.
🚩 Jealousy and control issues
If he questions your every outing, gets jealous when you talk to friends, or tries to control you “for your own good,” he’s not your partner, he’s your prison warden. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If he doubts you, ditch him. You deserve freedom, not surveillance.
🚩 Always on Snapchat = always temporary
Let’s be real; Snapchat screams short-term entertainment. If he only talks to you there, ignores your texts, and comes back just to save his streak, he’s playing you. These are the guys who’ll ghost for 23 hours and drop a “wyd” at 2 a.m. Don’t fall for it. Walk away.
🚩 Unpredictable mood swings and poor communication
If he won’t talk about conflicts, blames you for everything, and sulks instead of resolving issues, he’s emotionally immature. Drama is cute in movies, not in real life. Don’t waste your time explaining yourself to someone who refuses to listen.
🚩 Self-obsessed players
Does he post selfies every hour? Fill his album with mirror pics? Talk only about his looks, money, and power? That’s not love; it’s validation hunting. If he doesn’t care about you but cares only about proving how “perfect” he is and how all girls are dying for his attention, but he chooses you, run. Fast.
These are just a few of the red flags I’ve seen around campus, but trust me, the list goes on. Sometimes even the sweetest guy can hide a toxic side. This isn’t a Wattpad fantasy or a Karan Johar film where the bully falls for the nerd. Real relationships aren’t tropes; they’re messy, emotional, and require respect.
So, girl, set your standards high. Don’t date the ones who treat kindness as an invitation to invade your space. You deserve someone who lifts you up, not drags you down. Keep your self-respect sharp and your heart guarded because you’re the queen of your story, and it’s up to you to write it right.
Now, girlies, that was all about uni relationships and spotting those red flags before it’s too late. But if you wanna dive deeper into my personal takes on love, heartbreak, and all the messy feels, check out these gems: “A Delulu Girl’s Guide to Heartbreak and Hilarity” for all the ridiculous ways love can roast you, or “Too Broken to Be Loved?” if you wanna get real about how insecurities and doubts mess with your heart. For more savage takes and relatable chaos, you know where to click — check out my profile on Her Campus at MUJ