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MUJ | Culture

It Felt Like Peace, But Was It?

Avni Singh Student Contributor, Manipal University Jaipur
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MUJ chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

“Alisha: I’m really happy you see, I’m happy alone. I don’t care if anyone goes with me to certain places anymore. Be it cafes, shopping or travelling. You should not let people have so much authority that they are able to hurt you just like that. It’s all in head-”

“Imi: Isn’t this simply going far from love? From life, when the whole point of life is LOVE? Isn’t love the basis of it?

“Alisha: silence I-I…”

When one goes through shit, we all respond differently. Some go on crying. Some keep getting hurt (means do not set up boundaries again). Some shut down and call it “neutral feeling”, becoming “heartless,” or “I’m fine” mentality which simply means they pretend that everything’s fine when it obviously isn’t. Some start behaving rudely thinking if they won’t get close too much, they won’t get hurt too much.

But the most common reaction? They become distant. We think we’re “getting better,” that things don’t hurt anymore, that we’ve changed. When in reality, we’ve just gone numb.

fall drink with pumpkin
Photo by Theo Crazzolara from Unsplash

It feels like peace at the beginning. But it’s not peace. It’s avoidance. Emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. The hiding of emotion, psychologically, always comes back- hard. It being consistent might even lead to depression in extreme situations.

Pretending nothing happened when it just felt like your soul was being torn apart, your world falling down is not bravery. It is not cool. It is not saving or “protecting” yourself. It’s just self-abandonment in a prettier outfit. It would simply get piled up and you wouldn’t even know until one fine day when you’ll be presented, by life, a damn situation.

Sure, you might think you’re in your healing era. But love is strength. And if it’s not—you have to make it so. The more you run from trouble, the more and more it comes after you. 

Balance is everything. Sure, being detached protects you from being hurt and having your heart open to the world, also means giving people access to love you, hold you, and sometimes- hurt you but that’s OKAY. That’s the beauty of love, that’s what makes it surreal, to surrender yourself to your loved ones, to put efforts, going against a little bit of your own will just to see them happy. 

It is very important to understand the fine line between loving one and being used by one. Obviously, if you pour in a cup that has a hole in it with the intention of filling it, it would simply drain your energy, love, emotion and intelligence.  

That simply explains how peace in your “just entered healing era” was just you becoming numb, of course, majorly, if it persisted for long. 

The best you can do for yourself in a situation like this? Be true to yourself rather than hiding or running away from it.

You don’t heal by going numb; you heal by becoming yourself but just wiser, softer and stronger.

For more, follow up on Avni Singh | Her Campus and Her Campus at MUJ.

Avni Singh

MUJ '27

Avni Singh is an Editor at Her Campus at Manipal University Jaipur, where she shapes stories that are both reflective and emotionally authentic. She's a member of the core editorial team, shepherding stories that stick with you and editing with instinct. She applies a keen eye and a gentle heart to the words that cross her desk. Avni brings an observant, contemplative eye into each work she touches — whether it's wrapped in sarcasm, tenderly, or something in between.

She is studying B.Tech in Data Science and Engineering — a career path she took out of curiosity, and she pursues it with patience (and likely caffeine). Books and blank pages have long been her constants — places where she can feel too much and still make it beautiful. She doesn't always do what's trendy, but she speaks the language of the kind of expression that counts.

Apart from deadlines and Google Docs, Avni is fueled by playlists, personality-infused wardrobes, emotional resonance, and daydreaming like a side hustle. She believes in writing that reflects real feelings, romanticizing the mundane, and reading between the lines of everything. She's here to hold the pen softly — and still make it bite. If you give her your story, she will likely rewrite it as a lyric by the end of the day.