01 November 2024
07:06 PM
Hi Love,
Well… the lovely winters are here. You know I love winters and my girlypop was wondering why. So, I told her it’s because of that feeling when you’re cold and your warm clothes hug you? That warmth isn’t just physical for me — it’s emotional. And I thought, this was telling about me. So, I told myself, “You know, sometimes it’s better to just shut the f*ck up.”
Ummm… I saw him today. And it was like… How should I put this? Like, all along I’ve known him. A part of me lives inside him and a part of him is within me. I swear, I never thought I’d experience all those movie things in real life. I mean oh Lord! This is purrfect! And I don’t think I’ve said this to you before because I only realised it a few hours ago… but… I like him. I genuinely like him.
I like himmmmmm. OMG. I’m so happyyy. Lord’s gracious!
He’s never said it, but his eyes have. They said he likes me too. And I lowkey want it — how selfish, right? But he’s literally the best man I’ve ever known. He feels so right. He feels so mine. I feel like I’ve known him for longer than I’ve known him.
And what were the odds? I never saw him like that. I just wanted to tell him how things were, nothing more. Maybe random hellos, that’s it, I swear. And see where we are now.
Well, I’ve been practicing for that event I told yah about. I sent my friend the recording and honestly, I improved! But she kept complaining, which was… arghhhh.
You know, sometimes I wonder how life would’ve turned out if it hadn’t been for all that bullshit. I get it, it was important for me to grow, understand, and all that. And I’m grateful, mostly. But I was just a kid. And I’m not forgiving all of them. EVER!
At the end of the day, love finds you when you least expect it. And now, I feel more motivated, like, you know, just us against the world. I got to fucking earn, bro…
02 April 2025
04:20 PM
Hi Love,
I’ve been doing really well these days. I’m happy, but there’s this void, a familiar void. It’s fine, I guess. At least I’m not snivelling anymore. “I think I’ve seen this film before, but I didn’t like the ending” Pfft!
It’s been days since I told you I was done with him. Genuinely done, this time. I can’t keep hurting myself over and over, I don’t deserve that. I choose not to. I refuse.
And this… this wasn’t even something I saw coming. Like, of all people, I never thought he would make me feel like this. Disagreements? Sure, I expected those. But this? Hell no!
Maybe I overthought it all. Maybe I got too caught up. I don’t know. It just felt so genuine back then, you know? Like we were meant to be. And now, it doesn’t even matter if a part of me lives in him or a part of him resides in me.
There were nice moments- yeah, I won’t lie about that, but I think it’s time to let go. To stop. To put an end to this chapter. Enough is enough.
I don’t like him, not anymore. I don’t love him anymore. No! I gave it all, I did my fair share. Neither he ever said it, nor did his actions. Maybe, I read too much into it or maybe not. But honestly, it doesn’t even matter at this point.
He’s not the best man I’ve ever known. He doesn’t feel mine anymore. I don’t even think I know him at all — not now, at least. He changed, I mean so did I but not this way. *Sigh*
The odds were never in our favor I guess? Maybe I just wanted to believe in something beautiful once again. Maybe that’s why I let the blindfold stay. But it’s fine now. Maybe it should’ve always been like how it began, just that one interaction.
I don’t regret it. It’s just over. And this time, I genuinely am.
It’s not us against the world anymore. It’s just me, at the end of the day. And I’ve got to f*cking earn! Hihi, B-byee love, see you, love youuu.
For more, follow up on Avni Singh | Her Campus and Her Campus at MUJ.