We live in a world where people keep saying, “You’re just 20, you haven’t seen anything yet; you’re yet to experience the world.” But why is it that no one acknowledges what you have seen?
The little girl still remembers her 10th birthday party that her parents lovingly organized for her. The unconditional love they showered upon her remains etched in her memory. She has felt the joy of making them proud and the sadness of believing she had let them down. She has basked in their praise yet struggled with her own feelings of inadequacy, thinking she could never do enough.
She remembers her mother telling her that the world is a beautiful place where everyone can be your friend. Yet, she has also experienced betrayal, hearing hurtful words from people she thought were her friends. She has learned that the world isn’t always as beautiful as her mother described. When she was 15 and cycling one day, a man on a scooter drove too close to her, and it was anything but a beautiful feeling. She has seen her father being her biggest supporter, and she has felt the deep urge to make him the happiest man in the world.
At 17, she experienced the thrill of A+ grades and glowing praise. She also endured the crushing disappointment of failing entrance exams, crying endlessly into the night, hoping no one would notice her tears.
At 19, she fell for someone, harboring a huge crush, only to have her heart broken. She cherished beautiful friendships but also endured painful friendship breakups. She saw herself endlessly comparing herself to others, yet she also found moments of self-motivation, reminding herself that she’s the “boss lady.” She was always the understanding one but rarely felt understood. She was always the photographer, never the one being photographed. She was always the giver but seldom on the receiving end.
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln
At 20, she has seen the worst relationships and the best ones, too. She has aspired to be in one of those perfect relationships, yet she is terrified of actually being in one. She has marveled at the world’s beauty during her travels but has also witnessed its harsh realities. She has been disappointed in herself countless times but holds onto an undying hope of becoming the best version of herself.
She worries she’ll never make her parents proud, yet she clings to the conviction that she will someday. She loves her parents but thinks they’re a little twisted—and knows that’s okay. She craves appreciation but feels unsure how to react when she receives it.
She has seen a lot. After all, isn’t age just a number?